I got a stunner of a letdown yesterday. My training studio is closing next Friday. I have 38 prepaid sessions remaining. My membership will allegedly transfer to a nearby (15 minutes) franchise, but my beloved Ashley and Rachel may not move to the new studio. The new studio may not have anything close to my regular time slots available. Making this news even more troubling is that I recently encouraged a friend to join. She has at least 30 sessions remaining. God, I feel terrible about that. I’m trying not to panic, to believe everything will work out okay, but it’s difficult. The whole ‘tippy toe’ thing is about small, gradual changes–not big, radical changes.

One of my first thoughts when I heard the news was that this change would stall my fitness efforts. I had this horrible feeling of, Well, it’s all over now.

Huh? How did I reach that conclusion in a space of fifteen seconds? Since when did who I work out with and where I work out and which healthy foods I eat become about anyone other than me? I don’t want to take anything away from Ashley and Rachel–they’ve been HUGELY instrumental in helping me see my capabilities in a different way and pushing me to push myself to a better body–but this experience isn’t about them. I’m running this turnabout, and I control that aspect of my future. I’m very proud that I was able to see that, once I absorbed the bad news, and that I didn’t call upon my ex-BFF, Little Debbie for comfort. Instead, I went for my post-workout turkey-on-whole-wheat sandwich and my previously planned for low-fat frozen yogurt chaser.

Today was more of the same: nervous twitters now and then, but it’s all under control. I’ve eaten healthy foods and I’m getting the second part of my daily cardio in as soon as I hit the post button. Also, I had a hair appointment today, which always makes me feel better, but especially so today. Same basic style, shorter, a few more layers. I’m presently too cute for words. (Note: My stylist says my hair is thinning. Probably the weight loss or m-m-menopause. Or both. Or neither. )

Another also: I spent an hour or so today rambling around a Home & Garden Expo. Pocketed a few business cards for some folks who may be able to help me with some of the remodeling projects.

And a final also: I restocked my refrigerator, sort of. Until we’re sure we won’t have a repeat of the defrost failure, I’m not putting much in there, but for now, I have all that I need. And yes, it’s ALL healthy.

The next few weeks will be a little nerve-wracking, but knowing that I handled a negative situation (real or perceived) in a positive way energizes me. I didn’t cave in; I remained mindful of my actions and in control. And that’s a big lifestyle change for me.

(Edited for clarity)