Spokesmodel for Hire

It seems my career as a spokesmodel has begun. My sister called me all excited last night after she and her husband spotted “my” ad in a local weekly paper.


I was on page 52. Page 53 was what we locals call “the porn page”. You know, the page with ads for escort agencies and scantily clad massage “therapists.” I hope readers don’t get us confused.

Although given the current job situation….

All this excitement has me pondering what other products or services I might be a good spokesmodel for. (I actually prefer the label “Brand Ambassador.” It just sounds classier.)(And smarter.)

Okay, after careful consideration, here’s my short list of items on which I have spent a small fortune in the past year and as a result, of which I have superior knowledge:

– Champion sports bras from Target (all colors)
– Assets Camisoles from Target (all three colors and both styles)
– Almonds (yes, I buy them at Target, but since they aren’t exclusive to Target, I’m willing to consider other merchants. Money talks, people.)
– Turkey sandwiches from Subway
– Sugar-free Jello pudding (just don’t ask me to try to sell the chocolate mint–ick! :P)
– Worthington pants from JCPenney (straight fit)

I’m sure I have other areas of expertise, but considering I’ve spent about three minutes on this idea (as close to “careful consideration” as I’m likely to get this week), this list is a place to start.

If you are a PR firm representing any of these products, give me a ring and I’ll consider being your spokesmodel/brand ambassador.

If you represent an escort agency or massage therapist, stand by. I’m not there yet, but that could change.

So what about you, dear readers o’mine? What product(s) could you sell as a top-notch “brand ambassador”?

Personal note: I jinxed myself with the rest-olutions. I got stuck at work until after midnight and then was back in the office at 6 a.m. the next morning. (You might have parsed a clue from the silliness of this post.) I’m catching up on sleep now and will catch up on more blogs tomorrow.)