Just When You Thought It Was Safe

Just When You Thought It Was Safe #1

I usually drive to my gym because I go straight from work, but since I had to go home first last night, I decided to walk. It was Earth Day, after all. Plus, it’s not that far.

So I’m sauntering along, enjoying the fading sunshine and Fleetwood Mac on my shuffle, when out of nowhere I was viciously attacked!! In broad daylight, no less!! There were 5 or 6 of them all together–I lost count after a while–and I hate to say this, but they all looked alike. Fortunately I managed to get a clear picture of one of them:

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I was so scared I actually broke into a run. I might have knocked one of them down as I zoomed past. I didn’t stop to look, just snapped the picture and hightailed it to the gym, where I was extra vigorous in case some of their cootiecalories got on me.

The danger is past now, but I wanted to let you all know–it’s still not safe Out There.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe #2

Today we had a going away lunch for a co-worker whose job was also eliminated. She chose Texas de Brazil, a Brazilian steakhouse kind of place. I checked it out online first (of course!) and felt reasonably secure in that they advertised a 60-ingredient salad bar. Also, I saw something about grilled chicken. Whew! I didn’t bother to read any closer, because their webpage plays music that’s incredibly annoying after about 12 seconds, but I felt okay about going.

Hah! What I didn’t know was that it’s a $20 fixed price (lunch only–dinner is much more) restaurant. Oh sure, they have an extensive salad bar with lots of fresh veggies and Mediterranean-influenced foods: black beans, tabbouleh, olives, etc. Plus they have about 40-50 varieties of olive oil and vinegar for dressing. (They have the creamy dressings, too, but not any that I like–double whew!)

When you return from the salad bar, you’re given a small paper disk, green on one side, red on the other. The server tells you to turn the disk to the green side when you’d like someone to bring you meat and turn it to red when you don’t want any meat. And he looks so innocent when he says it.

No sooner had the server moved on than swarms of servers started circling the table with huge slabs of grilled meats: garlic sirloin, something lamb, Peppercorn Beef, Brazilian sausages, Prime Rib, Parmesan Pork, Something Else Beefy (and really, really red), Spareribs–EGADS! It was non-stop! And my card was on red the entire time! I really wanted to enjoy my healthy (and rather significantly sized) salad first, but no–they were relentless!

After a while, a server stopped by with smallish pieces of grilled chicken breast wrapped in bacon, and having cleared a small open space on my plate, I took a piece. Well worth waiting for. By the time more chicken came by, I took two more small pieces. We guesstimated each piece to be about 1-1/2 ounces, maybe smaller. I also took a small piece of slow-roasted pork.

It was all delicious, but I swear, I’ve never seen so much meat in my entire life! Lord knows, I met my protein target for the rest of the week!

Desserts were magnificent, too. Since most of my co-workers are mostly healthy eaters like me, we ordered a variety and shared them along the table. I sampled turtle cheesecake and something chocolately. Good, but I’m just not used to a heavy lunch like that. Even during my bigger days, I didn’t eat like that. It was like some sort of food orgy.

My going away lunch is next Wednesday. I’m not sure where we’re going, but it won’t be anything on that scale, I assure you. It was delicious, but there oughta be a law against serving that much food!


Just When You Thought It Was Safe #3

THIS would be so wrong.

And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

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I’m looking forward to a wonderful weekend (starting with my last T.G.I.F. at work) full of exercise and fresh air. What’s going on in your world this weekend?

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