Makeover Monday: To Insure Proper Service

Makeover Monday topics cover a wide field and are generally not related to exercise or weight loss. I believe that many of us can benefit from focusing on the non-physical “big picture,” whether that’s related to emotional health, financial stability, intellectual curiosity, or even personal care. One area I don’t focus on nearly enough is the topic of making ourselves feel better by making others feel better about themselves or their contributions to the planet. Today’s post is my small attempt to remedy that.

I went to dinner with a large group recently and saw something that made my jaw drop. We were a group of 22 people with 22 checks (every restaurant’s dream group) and we had amazing service. Seriously amazing. It was a locally-owned, casual-type place, and when we received our checks, several of us commented that the restaurant had NOT included the normal “large party” automatic gratuity. We made sure that everyone else noticed that too.

Imagine my surprise when one of the women left a $1 tip on a $15-20 check. Apparently one of her table neighbors mentioned that the check didn’t have the gratuity included, and the $1 lady responded, “Oh, I know. I never tip more than $1. I’d never be able to eat out if I tipped more than that.”

My response (silent, of course, since I was a guest of the group) was that she shouldn’t eat meals out then. My physical response (and that of a couple of people seated near me) was to add a little extra to our tips to compensate.

Tips aren’t a requirement for any profession, but quite a few jobs have pay structures that factor in tips as part of income. This can result in an hourly pay rate well below minimum wage in some job. For example, according to payscale.com, wait staff depend on tips for up to two-thirds of their incomes, and bartenders aren’t far behind at 60% tip-dependent incomes. The pizza delivery guy is counting on 40% of his income from tips. Your hairstylist earns 26% of her income in tips. And we can rest assured that none of these incomes are likely to land these folks anywhere near a Forbes Top-Whatever List.

With all that in mind, I figured it couldn’t hurt to post a listing of commonly used services and the suggested tipping guidelines for each. These are, of course, based on US customs. Check out tipping.org for a comprehensive listing of US and international guidelines by country. CCRA Travel Solutions provides another good resource. And of course there’s always Emily Post.


Generally Accepted Tipping Guidelines

Dining out:
Wait staff (full service) - 15-20% pre-tax
Wait service (buffet) - 5-10% of bill. At least $1 per person.
Sommelier – 15-20% of total cost of wine
Bartender $1 per drink or 15-20% or tab
Tip jars - No obligation, but you might want to tip occasionally if you are a regular or if the person went above normal service. (I don’t generally do this, but for a few of my regular haunts, I’ll drop in my change.)
Restroom Attendant $0.50-$3, depending on service
Valet $2-$5 (in addition to any valet fee)
Coat check attendant- $1

Dining in:
Take Out - No obligation, but up to 10% if the person went above normal service
Delivery drivers - 10-15% (delivery charges usually go to the restaurant/business)

On the road:
Skycap - $2 first bag, $1 per additional bag
Doorman - $1-$2 for carrying luggage, $1-$2 for hailing cab, $1-$4 beyond the call of duty
Bellhop - $2 first bag, $1 per additional bag
Housekeeper - $2-$5 per day, left daily (I’m soooo guilty of not having small bills and rather than going downstairs and getting it, I leave the tip on the next day.)
Room Service - 15-20% of total bill
Concierge - $5 for tickets or reservations, $10 if hard to get; no need to tip for answering questions
Taxi driver - 15% plus an extra $1-$2 if helped with bags
Tour guides - $5-10 for ½ day

Vanity tipping:
Hair Dresser - 15-20%, ask to be split among those who served you
Manicurist - 15-20%
Facial, waxing, massage - 15-20%
Shoe shine- $2
Tattoo or piercing artist - 10-20 percent

A few others:
Barista - $1
Car detailer - 15 percent
Car washer - $2-3 for a car; $3-5 for an SUV or truck
Emergency locksmith - $5
Flowers - $1 to $10, depending on the size of the arrangement.
Furniture or appliance delivery person - $5-10
Pet groomer - 15 percent
Pet sitter - 15 percent
Tire changer - $4 - $5
Tow truck driver - $5

For other services, it is more customary to tip annually. An amount equal to a week’s pay for those you employ (baby sitter or regular cleaning service) is a good amount, and $15 to $25 is usually a good amount to offer those whose services you use without compensation (mail carrier, newspaper deliveries. )

Side story #1: I don't remember where I first heard this tip on tipping, but I thought it was a good idea then and now. Given that service staff probably need their incomes just for survival, consider double-tipping between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It could add a lot to their holiday experience, not to mention a real boost for those with kids. Plus, it just feels so darned good!

Side story #2:
Many years ago while on assignment in New York, I attended a Mets game at Shea Stadium. When we showed the usher our tickets, he escorted us to our seats and wiped them down with a chamois cloth (even though they didn’t need it), before stepping to the side. I noticed he kept standing there while we got settled, but being the sometimes-clueless hillbilly that I am, I didn’t think much about it. He eventually stomped off.

A few minutes later, he went through the same routine with another group of guests and I saw the gratuity passed along. Ah, I understood then. So the next time he came by, I stopped him and gave him a couple of dollars, explaining that I didn’t realize tipping was customary for ushers. In my defense, in Memphis in those days, ushers generally looked at your ticket and pointed in the general direction of your seats. They only went to the actual seat if there was a discrepancy.

I share that not just to show my ignorant ways, but to point out that it's always a good idea to pay attention to the happenings around us for clues and cues on tipping customs. :)

I've always been a pretty good tipper, but perhaps being "on my own" has made me more acutely aware that many people (and their families) are living on very little income and that in some of those cases, such as those described above, I truly can make a big difference even if it's just a dollar here and there.

As always, I turn it over to you guys. Any tipping tips from you? Or an embarrassing tipping story to rival mine? Please share in the comments.

Weekly Wrap-up

I set goals early this week to take care of some non-blogging projects, but I hadn't meant to completely avoid the internet. That's just the way the priority ball bounces sometimes, I guess.

I was looking forward to catching up tonight, but after a delightful (and exhausting) workout with my sister in synchronicty, Mary from A Merry Life, my mind has now turned to mush. A clear sign of a truly great workout. :)

So I'll leave you to the weekend with apologies for my absence, along with a peace offering of these interesting links that arrived in my reader this week:

From Dumb Little Man:
Increase Your Happiness with These Six Scientifically Proven Strategies
(#1--Set the Intent to be Happier--will be my focus for the weekend! Followed closely by #2--Count Your Blessings)

Top 10 Tips for Maintaining a Positive Attitude
(Again, the first one is on my agenda for the next couple of days)

For the Twitter-phobic, an article from Wisebread:
What Everybody Ought to Know about Twitter
(Nice and concise, but did nothing to add hours to my busy days. I don't know how other folks find the time for so much tweeting! Clearly, I must be doing something wrong.)

And then again from Dumb Little Man:
5 Things to Do When Twitter Goes Down

From Unclutterer, a post for the ink-lovers amongst ye:
To-Do Tattoos
(Now this is a tattoo I would consider getting! Or maybe I'll just keep using my Sharpie marker.)

And finally, for you Skechers lovers out there, The Bargainist hooks you up with a $10 off coupon. I'm resisting, opting to save my $$$ for a Vitamix 5200. You know, just in case the Vitamix people don't randomly decide to send me one for free. :)

Oh, and speaking of $$$ and free stuff, now is a good time for my usual (and unfortunate) disclaimer that I have no financial affiliations with any commercial products listed here. My role is simply to drool over them.


Wishing you all a most marvelous weekend!

Follow-up, Check-in, A Question

Follow-up to Makeover Monday
Thanks for the great tips and comments on yesterday's post, Timing is Everything. If you checked in early, you might want to re-visit to see some really great tips.

I agree with several commenters who observed that their preferences are the exact opposite of the suggestions in the article. "Best" is definitely a personal thing. :)

One question raised was specific to the best time to blog. Very good question, and one I'm also trying to work out for myself. Out of curiosity, I turned to our friend in all things query-like: Google. The few resulting articles I found focused on the best time to blog for better traffic, and I liked this article from Tradeshow Week.

For me, traffic isn't what I'm working on as much as trying to create better and more useful content regularly. My schedule and my muse don't always work together so well. Right now I'm going with the same premise as with exercise: whenever I can fit it in is a great time to blog! :)

Check-in
I'm pleased to report that the scale bounced back down into the safety zone at Monday's weigh-in. If I could remember the specifics of last week's weigh in, I'd be able to report an exact loss, but I don't do those little hash marks on the scale so well. I think it was a little over 2 pounds. Or maybe a little under. The bottom line is that I'm about a pound away from being right on goal, which is A-OK with me!

Question
I'm also pleased to report that I have now actually tried a green smoothie. It wasn't horrible; it wasn't delicious. I don't think the problem was the spinach, but my appliances and ingredients. I started with the blender, but it did absolutely nothing to the spinach. (My blender is circa 1980.) So I moved to the food processor (at least 20 years old) which did a great job of chopping the spinach really fine, but I was hoping for a puree.

As for ingredients, my frozen strawberries had suffered fatal freezer burn, and I'd already had two small bananas today, so I was left with finely chopped-but-not-pureed baby spinach, Light Vanilla Silk, chocolate whey protein powder, and crushed ice. Not a horrid combination, but lacking something. Shoot, now that I think about it, I could've tossed in a sugar-free fudgesicle for some extra chocolate-y goodness. Oh well. I'll add it to the list for future emergencies. I'm sure there will be plenty.

My question to YOU smoothie fans is...what appliance(s) are you using for your smoothies, green or other colors? I've got a gift card burning a hole in my handbag, and I'm wondering if maybe it's time to upgrade my kitchen appliances. Thanks in advance for your input.


That's it for me today! Hope you're all having a splending week!

Makeover Monday: Timing Is Everything

For 30+ years, the order of my day was largely determined by my work schedule, but now that I'm on my own (doesn't that sound so much nicer than unemployed?), I have the opportunity to tinker with my schedule and with any luck, to maximize it so that I'm getting the right things done at the right time.

Luck did indeed smile on me on Saturday when I found a nifty little article in an old copy (October 2004) of Real Simple magazine. Entitled "Beat the Clock" and written by Leslie Yazel, this article used the science of our natural body rhythms (a.k.a. chronobiology) and tips from experts in other fields to present the best times of day to do a variety of tasks. I'm all for that! I'm also all for sharing, so if you're interested in optimizing your time, read on and enjoy!

I know that circadian rhythms (our internal clocks) have a lot to do with our energy levels, which have natural dips and rises throughout the day. Something about melatonin secretion based on messages our eyes send to the hypothalamus region of our brains. (That's possibly an overlsimplification version of a very complicated event. It's also possibly wrong. I don't do science very well.)

Other factors influencing our natural rhythms: social environment, medications (including the best drug of all--caffeine!), work schedules, physical condition, travel schedules, and so on.


Best Times of Day to...
Links to various books included, but I have no affiliation with any of the vendors.

Clean the House - According to Michael Smolensky, author of The Body Clock Guide to Better Health, 4 p.m. is the best time to clean house. Our hand-eye coordination is at its best and our mood levels high during this period.

Take a Nap - Aforementioned author Smolensky also theorizes that a nap is most beneficial somewhere in the 1 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. range, with a maximum naptime of 30 minutes. Our body temperatures naturally dip during those hours (similar to the way they dip at bedtime), which is why we're often sleepy after lunch. (Huh. For years, turkey on wheat has taken the rap.) For more info on nap optimization, check out this previous Makeover Monday post.

Take a Multivitamin - If you supplement your nutrition with daily vitamins, you should be taking them with breakfast for better absorption, according to Shari Lieberman, nutritional scientist and author of The Real Vitamin and Mineral Book. Certain nutrients, like vitamin B, can interfere with sleep, so dinnertime is definitely not the optimum time to take your vitamins.

Do Your Cardio Workout - Lots of theories out there about this one. I'm a fan of the "When can you do it? Okay, that's the best time!" school of thought. Matthew Edlun, M.D., author of The Body Clock Advantage, recommends the 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. time frame. His reasoning is that our lungs use oxygen more efficiently, our coordination is better, and our muscles are warmed from our daily activities. The extra adrenaline that exercise brings {pause for moment of gratitude} can be handled by completing our workouts at least 3 hours before bed.

I can personally attest to another benefit to working out later in the day: stress reduction. When I worked for The Man, I scheduled my workouts immediately after my workday ended. Not only was it a nice exclamation point on the end of a healthy day, I could also exorcise any lingering workday demons. (You don't know fun until you picture some workplace bozo's face on the bottom of your shoe and then head out for a walk. Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!)


Okay, so those are a few suggestions based on "body clock." There are other best times that are influenced by external events:

More Best Times to...

Return Merchandise to a Store - I knew this one already! The best time to make returns is in the first hour of the store's opening. Staff is usually at its assigned post and typically, the staff working daytime hours are those with more experienced (gotta love seniority!)

Go to the Doctor - Most of us know this one already, I think. You'll clock less waiting room time if you book the first appointment of the day or the first one after lunch. Exceptions to this occur if your doctor is a surgeon or makes hospital rounds prior to office hours.

Get Your Hair Cut - As with the doctor's visit, early morning and just after lunch are the best times to see your stylist. The reasoning is similar, only surgery is replaced by a weave/cut combo. It's also possible that your cut might turn out better, too, since the stylist's stress level should be lower in the a.m. You could also simply ask your stylist what's his/her favorite time of day for cutting hair. Then schedule your appointments for that time.

Go to the Post Office - The midmorning lull, which usually occurs a half hour to an hour after the office opening, is the best time to avoid lines. Or you can do like me and use the automated postal terminals available at many U.S. post office locations. I also go online for things like putting mail service on hold.


And there you have it. Some science, some practicality, possibly some luck. These suggestions might be accurate; then again, maybe not. But it could be fun to experiment a bit, knowing that your mileage may vary.

Got any tips of your own to share? Please do!

Thanks for stopping by this week! I'm off to maximize my day by experimenting with some of these suggestions! :)

Binge Fighting Tips for the Weekend (and any other time)

I've never considered myself a binge eater, but I do have times when I eat when I'm not hungry. It doesn't really matter whether or not it's healthy food or not. If I'm not hungry why am I eating?:::scratches head::

I know some of you also struggle with overeating or binge eating. While they're not the same thing, this article I stumbled across on empowHer today might help with both:

5 Ways to Prevent a Binge
By Dr. Roger Gould

1.Keep Things Organized
Many people report binging when they get overwhelmed with chores and responsibilities. If you stay on top of things you're less likely to use a binge to procrastinate or escape. Create systems, pay your bills, ask for help and don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

2. Chill Out
Knowing how to manage your own anxiety is a critical factor in avoiding binges. Whether you use walking, reading, meditating, or sports, to calm yourself down, knowing what particularly works for you is key. Experiment with different things until you find things that reduce your level of anxiety.

3. Have a Solid Support System
Having people to go to when you need to vent, get advice or hear you out is important. Remembering that you're not alone and having solid people in your life that you can honestly share your struggles with can make a huge difference. A therapist, online community, or support group can also help.

4. Don't Keep Binge Foods Around
Most people have certain foods that trigger their binges. If this applies to you, don't keep those foods in your cupboards or go to places where you know you can't avoid them. You don't need treats for the kids, or for guests, or for anyone else. No reason to make things harder for yourself than they need to be until you have more control over what you eat.

5. Go to Bed
You'd be surprised how many afternoon and evening binges happen when you're tired and don't just put yourself to bed. Obviously, there will be times when going to sleep just isn't possible, for example in the afternoon when you're at work. However, if you stay on top of getting the rest you need, you'll find yourself looking for food so much less.

While the first two suggestions are great, they're not generally problems for me. The latter three suggestions are what helped get me to where I am now:
3 - Family and friends (that would include you guys) have been hugely supportive!
4- I don't keep unhealthy foods in the house, so that if I go over calorie-wise (the almond is not always our friend), I'm still getting nutrition. Small justification, but it's better than a bag of Doritos.
5 - This one CAN be a biggie for me if I'm not careful. I've noticed that when I get super-tired at night, I tend to nibble more. Lately, I've been simply closing the kitchen doors after dinner. It offers no guarantee, but at least I have to think about it before I push the doors open again. While that helps, I've decided to prioritize a bit and simply go on to bed when I'm that tired. Whatever I'm working on will wait until the next day. It would have been completed earlier in the day if it was that important. :)

I hope these tips helped in any way and that you all have a fantastic weekend!

What Fresh Hell Is This?

Today's title is actually a quote attributed to Dorothy Parker. It also describes perfectly my return to the gym.

Before I left for Chicago, my knees were bothering me during squats and lunges, so I thought that would be a good opportunity to give them a break. Apparently the break went on a little too long. On Monday, I added them back into my routine, and while my knees are just fine, my quads and glutes are not happy with me. Not at all. It reminds me of when I first started training. I'm not big on post-workout pain, so I spent extra time stretching after today's gym session. So far, so good.

Monday was also my first weigh-in, post-vacation, post-birthday celebration. The good news is that I'm right where I was when I left for Chicago. The bad news is that I was up a couple of pounds when I left for Chicago. So I need to shed two pounds, or possibly a little more. I'd like to be at or even slightly below my goal weight when I leave for my Western Tour in early October. I'm setting October 1st (or so) as the goal date for goal weight. Surely I can lose 2 or 3 pounds by then.

Reporting in on a new snack I tried: Yoplait Yogurt Parfait. (The link will take you to a site with a $1 off coupon.) The parfaits are combinations of different flavored yogurts. I've only tried the Creme Caramel, but they also have Lemon Torte, Chocolate Raspberry, and Triple Berry Creme. With 13 grams of sugar, this product definitely falls in the realm of dessert yogurt, but it also has 5g of protein and the other goodies yogurt provides. Functional dessert, in other words. One more word: yummy!

Busy times here this week, but I'll do my best to catch up on my reader tonight and tomorrow!
I hope I discover that you are all having a most marvelous week!

Makeover Monday: The Hair Up There

Due to comments (pleadings?) made after last Monday’s post, we interrupt our previously scheduled Makeover Monday to bring you this hot topic: excess facial hair on women. It’s a condition many of us suffer, but not many of us talk about. Many of the guys, and possible a few of the women, who read here are wondering what’s the big deal. Well, if you’re a woman with whiskers, it IS a big deal—a big, fat, hairy deal.

This is an unbelievably long post, so if you’re not interested in the topic, I’ll pause here to thank you for stopping by. I hope you’ll stop by again next week! Continuing on, for the interested…

I’ll start with the usual caveat that I am not a licensed…anything. You would be far better served to discuss any issues you have with excess facial hair (real or imagined) with a dermatologist or licensed cosmetician. My knowledge comes only from my explorations in how to deal with my problems in this area. But feel free to tell them Cammy sent you. Maybe you’ll get a discount. :)

There are basically two types of body hair: vellus, which is the fine, thin hair we have all over our bodies. It’s purpose is to protect our sensitive skin, as well as to help regulate body temperature. The hormonal wallop of puberty usually causes some of these fine hairs to turn darker and coarser. These hairs are referred to as terminal. Their purpose is to irritate and embarrass those of us of the female persuasion and to look danged sexy on the males among us. (The same males who sneeze and lose 8 pounds. Grrr.) The amount of terminal hair we have is partially dictated by heredity and then influenced by hormonal changes or medical conditions. (See aforementioned referral to medical professional.)

When I was in my late 20s, two individual dark hairs popped out on my chin. I was amused and even chuckled as I plucked them out. Problem resolved.

As I entered by 30s, two chinny hairs had tripled into a half dozen or so, sprinkled all along my jaw. Still within manageable plucking capacity. No sweat.

Mid-30s: The Hair Explosion Years. Hair was suddenly everywhere--on my chin, my neck, my jaw, and even on my upper lip. I wasn’t quite a candidate for a circus show, but I sure felt like it. My self-esteem (always a little on the rocky side) plummeted. I was certain everyone I saw was one wrist-flick away from pointing and yelling, “Oh my God, would you look at that!” The fact that none of these people ever did that, or even appeared to notice my presence, I attributed to extremely fine acting abilities on their parts.

Anyway, it became clear that the plucking method of facial hair “management” wasn’t going to cut it anymore, and I began to explore other possibilities. There were many—some pricey, some relatively inexpensive. I’ll share all the ones I know about and give you my opinion on those I tried. (Some of these will sound familiar as they were also included on last week’s post on the hair down there.)

Methods of Controlling Excess Facial Hair

Doing Nothing - You may decide that the 100% natural way is the one for you, and there is nothing wrong with that. Customs, styles, and societal expectations are changed by people like you. Pat yourself on the back for accepting yourself just as you are! I, for one, admire the hell out of you for being the trendsetter I'm not, and you won't catch me questioning your choice.

Tweezing – Simple, inexpensive, and the best solution if you have the odd hair here or there. Re-growth can take several days to several weeks.

Shaving – Simple, inexpensive, and painless, but if you have a lot of facial hair, shaving is not without a few cons. Since shaving doesn’t address the hair below the skin, re-growth generally occurs in 12-24 hours in the form of dark stubble. Shaving can cause skin irritation (razor burn) and depending on the shaving method you choose—wet or dry—nicks, cuts, and ingrown hairs are a few of the possible results.

Bleaching – There are a variety of creams on the market that will lighten unwanted facial hair. The ones I tried weren’t expensive and they worked really well on the upper lip, but not so much on the underside of my neck. (I have issues with being still.) I also wasn’t comfortable with putting such harsh chemicals on my face. There may be newer, less harsh products on the market today. Keep in mind that the amount of lightening depends on the color and texture of your hair. You could end up with an orange mustache instead of a brunette one.

Depilatories – These are chemical mixtures that effectively melt the keratin in the hair shaft, allowing the hair to fall out. I’ve never used one on my face due to the caustic, chemical-ly smells.

Waxing/Sugaring – I forgot to include sugaring last week, but it’s the same basic premise as waxing. Both techniques involve applying a layer of “sticky stuff” to the skin (cold or hot wax for waxing, or a paste of sugar, lemon, and water for sugaring), followed by the application of strips of cloth, and then the ripping out by the root of the offensive hairs. Hairs, plural. All at once. If you have trouble with tweezing pain, I’m thinking this would not be the option for you.

In all seriousness, the only waxing I’ve had done is the eyebrow area, and it does hurt for a couple of minutes. I’m also red in that area for a few hours after application. But then I’m done for a couple of months. Re-growth varies, anywhere from a few weeks to two months, and the hair is usually finer.

As mentioned last week, waxing and sugaring can be done at home relatively inexpensively, but this is one of those areas where it might be more prudent to seek out a professional. Wax can actually take off skin along with the hair (yikes!) if not done correctly, and sugaring can cause bruising.

Another important note about waxing/sugaring if you are using, or have recently used , Acutane or products containing Retin-A. These products contain chemicals that cause thinning of the skin, and waxing or sugaring could cause permanent damage to the skin.

Electrolysis – Another fun-filled hair-removal technique. As discussed last week, electrolysis involves inserting an electrified needle into the hair follicle and shocking the hair out. Well, that’s how I think of it, anyway. I’m sure there’s a more technical explanation of it.

I used electrolysis for almost a year. While it wasn’t cheap, it was affordable and while there was some pain, it wasn’t horrible. I stopped when it seemed as though I wasn’t having lasting results. Plus, the procedure sometimes caused a few blisters.

I’ve seen some “home electrolysis” gizmos on the store shelves and on Amazon, but it really doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. Definitely better to seek a professional on this one.


Laser Hair Removal – The Big Kahuna of hair removal and the only method that yielded long-term (though not 100% completely successful) results for me. Basically, this process involves using intense light pulses to attack the melanin in the hair shaft. In its early days, the process wasn’t useful for people who also had an abundance of melanin in their skin, because the lasers didn’t know the difference between the two and spotting occurred. Technology has changed, though, and the lasers are smarter. In fact, there has been some progress in laser technology with respect to light-colored hair. For those of us with a generous amount of vellus, this is promising.

For more information on laser hair removal, here’s a good article on the American Academy of Dermatology website.

There are other methods of hair removal, including threading and topical creams, but I have never checked into any of those. As I said earlier, if you have a significant amount of facial hair and that bothers you, your best bet is to make an appointment with a dermatologist.

As for me, the laser treatments eliminated most of the darker hair I had, but there are residuals. I manage those with this nifty device and my tweezers. Since I’m barreling toward menopause and even more hormonal shifts, I’ve started a savings fund for additional treatments if I need them.

Whatever your choice, keeping your sense of humor about it is the greatest treatment of all. There are many, many ways your life could be worse.

Okay, enough from me. The floor is open for your thoughts, comments, recommendations, etc. I ask only that you be polite. I'll pop into the comments if there's a need.

On a side note, thanks again for all the birthday wishes! It's a great one, so far! :)

Have a happy week!

They Say It's My Birthday

The actual Big Day is Monday, but since it's conveniently located adjacent to the weekend, I'm claiming the whole three days. I'll be on "the other side" of 50 on Monday, which requires additional time for acceptance.

No big plans for celebrations, just the usual family dinner and some time with friends. In other words, perfect! Birthdays are a great time for reflection, and I'm sure I'll be doing even more of that than I usually do. I like to think about where I've been, contemplate where I'm going, re-assess my values and dreams, and plan my next steps.

This year's birthday ponderings are a little different from years past. In addition to NOT needing to lose 100 pounds, I don't have a job to plan around. Life is wide open, and it's up to me to decide where to take it. So many options, so many possibilities...it gives rise to this, my shiny new personal mantra for the next few months:

I may not know where I'm going, but I'm not lost.

As I try new things, succeeding and failing, I have an internal compass that's stronger than it's ever been.

It will guide me to my right path, whether that be the one I was on or to somewhere completely new.

I can't wait!!

What makes up YOUR internal compass? What keeps you from getting lost?

Or, if you're feeling a little lost, maybe this weekend is a good time to ponder what drives you and motivates you to do the right things...for yourself and the rest of us.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy weekend!

What Next?

A two-for-one post, of sorts.

First, a big THANK YOU for your responses to yesterday's rather intimate Makeover Monday post. Some of you jumped right in with tips and suggestions, others abstained in a good-natured way (who knew we had so many horticulturalists?), and others couldn't reach their back buttons soon enough, no doubt. I appreciate ALL of you. Even you, anonymous commenter for whom I struck a negative nerve. (You point is well taken, even if your method of delivery kinda sucked.) The whole point of the post was to share information for people who might not be comfortable with their current state down there and want to know about options.

I knew before I posted the topic that not everyone would be comfortable reading it, but I did it anyway. As someone who came of age (and beyond) without many resources at hand for understanding all parts of her body, it's important to me to be open about such subjects, to learn and to share information, when possible. I do respect, however, that some folks aren't quite as open about these things. Rest assured that I will always try to give an introductory warning before posting such topics, in case you want to run for the hills. :)

Moving forward...I'm trying to figure out what my Next Big Thing will be. I'm not really *feeling* the gym right now, but these dog days of summer in Memphis are rather brutal for outdoor exercising. I'm thinking I may explore yoga/Pilate's classes, if I can find some affordable ones in the area. Until then, I'll keep to the current program.

I still haven't had a post-vacation weigh-in. I may do that tonight, or maybe tomorrow. My re-entry into TippyToesVille has gone relatively well. I've been trying to stay a few hundred calories under maintenance levels, but I suspect I've cut it close on a few days. That would be okay, though. The main goal is to eat healthy at or below maintenance level and to move, and I've been 100% on target with that.

I'm beginning to think I can live my whole life this way. Stick to The Plan most of the time, and let it out a little (or more than a little) on vacations and for special events, like my upcoming birthday. Then move right back to The Plan.

That's it for me today. Nothing particularly useful, I'm afraid. Maybe tomorrow. But don't worry; I'll stay above the waist for a while. :)

Makeover Monday: In the Pubic Interest

No, that’s not a typo. We’re going down there this week. Don't worry, we're staying in the outer regions, but if you’re not interested (as in you’ve already Lysoled your keyboard just from reading this far), feel free to bail out now.

I went through puberty in the early 70s (yes, they had puberty way back then), when the extent of education on pubic hygiene consisted of a 15-minute film shown one rainy day in 7th grade P.E. class. I don’t remember all the details of the film, but the primary message was to protect foreign invasion of my vulva (and beyond!) at all costs. Nary a word about pubic or genital grooming. Considering the sex-crazed audience, that might have been the wisest use of time, and to be fair, I don’t recall reading anything about taking care of down there in Cosmopolitan at the time, either. But then again, most of that reading was clandestine in nature and dependent upon my aunt leaving her copy where I could get my pudgy, inquisitive hands on it. Even then, I think the articles focused more on aroma than appearance.

I was well into adulthood before I learned about the wide variety of options available for changing the way down there looks. These days, I not only know the possibilities, I also know which celebrities choose which options. One I needed to know about, the other I could live without. I'll leave it to you to figure out which is which.

There are many pubic grooming options, and there's no One Right Way. Considerations include everything from time involved to pain involved to maintaining that 'fresh feeling' to enhancing your sexual arousal or that of your partner. Your pubes, your choice, but no matter which option you follow, it goes without saying that extra special care should be taken with these sensitive bits of our bodies.


Pubic Grooming Options


The Natural Way - Many people opt for leaving the pubic area as nature presented it and manage it with nothing more than a daily dose of soap (or shampoo/conditioner) and water and, perhaps, a comb.

Trimming (a.k.a. The Almost Natural Way)- Similar to the first option, but incorporates the use of a trim-style razor (no affiliation) and scissors to control the amount and length of hair and any "overflow."

Shaving- Some folks like to completely remove all or parts of their pubic hair. One method is shaving it, which is fairly quick and easy but does carry some risks, primarily razor burn and ingrown hairs. There are many products on the market to help this process along. HairCareDownThere (no affiliation) provides one such package. (If you don't already know this, note that hair regrowth begins right away and the process is sometimes itchy.)

Waxing - Again, this method can be used to remove all or parts of the pubic hair. You can do it at home with one of the many products (no affiliation) on the market, but it's probably better left to the professionals. You don't need to know which of these various options I choose, but you can rest assured that I would wear pubic hair down to my ankles before I would pull it out by its roots. To actually pay someone to do it for me is beyond comprehension to me. I don't care that this method results in a slower regrowth period or that there are fewer ingrown hairs. I don't like pain. :)

As for how much or how little hair to remove, in this or any method, there are as many choices as there are thoughts. Wikipedia has a decent article to use as a starting place, but be ye warned, it is NOT work safe as it is complete with photos. You can also click here for some design examples.

Tweezing - Certainly cheaper than waxing, but painful and very time consuming. I suppose it's good news that hair regrowth should be slower with this method than with shaving.

*Electrolysis - A needle is inserted near the hair follicle and a small electrical current "shocks" the hair root into surrender. Painful, time consuming, expensive, and permanent. Again, there are home products (no affiliation) available, but you're probably better off going to a professional.

*Laser hair removal - In this method, a light beam is pulsed over the hair follicle to disable it. Sessions are expensive and several are required to achieve full and permanent results.

*The word 'permanent' in the latter two options should be noted. Customs and preferences change over time, and you might want to give a thought or two to the future before opting for one of these.

These are just a few of the more common options available for a makeover down there. We'll leave jewelry, piercings, and tattoos 'til another day (or another blog), and we'll leave dyeing pubic hair out completely since there aren't any products on the market (that I could find) that are designed for this sensitive area.

I certainly hope today's topic doesn't crash web servers around the world as readers click their unsubscribe buttons at the same time. My intent, as always, was to share information and have some fun. Either or both is fine with me.

Our bodies are beautiful in all their shapes and sizes, and they deserve to have loving attention heaped upon them. Even down there.

Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead...

That's a Wrap!

Back-to-normal is feeling pretty good. I miss my newfound desserts, but as I already knew, a couple of Hershey's Dark Chocolate Kisses will take care of any sweet treat cravings or urges. Also, I'm enjoying having fresh fruit at my disposal every single minute of the day. A girl gets spoiled so easily.

Sharing a few interesting links from my reader:

From Unclutterer, an interesting article on perfectionism: You Don't Have to Be the Best

Nicely followed by How to Turn Average Talent into Fame and Fortune, by Paul Michael on Wisebread.

Most of us know these already, but a quick review of Five Foods that Will Drastically Reduce Your Grocery Bill wouldn't hurt. From The Bargainist.

And finally, a link post from me would not be complete without something from writers at DLM. This week, they impressed me with this article: The 11 Most Important Rules for Healthy Eating...Yes, Most Important. Just in case you're new to all of this.

I share because I care.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

Cammy, Dessert-less in Memphis

**Edited: correction of terrible typo, but that's all.

1800 Miles Later

Ah, home again. It felt good to sleep in my own bed last night...and felt odd this morning having to make it up myself. After two weeks of hotels, I got a little spoiled.

The trip was great! I met new friends, visited old friends, and worked in some quality pondering time while driving. A perfect combination!

Re-entry will be bittersweet--difficult, but welcome. I enjoyed the break, but I'm looking forward to regaining my routine. I made a "no-chain" rule for selecting restaurants during the latter 2/3 of my trip, and while I had fun trying new (and mostly local) restaurants, I began to yearn for a simple turkey-on-wheat or 'big salad' or non-mayonnaise-y tuna salad.

Desserts were plentiful on this trip, which was unusual for me. I didn't even eat dessert much 100 pounds ago, but on this trip, I did. And they were gooood.

I think this is the point where I'm supposed to be filled with regret and recrimination, but I'm without either. I ate mindfully and for the most part, healthily. I kept my nutritional goals in mind, with regard to fruits and veggies, lean meats, whole grains, and went from there. This was a bit problematic (but enjoyable) on the weekend with friends, but I bounced back on Sunday and regained my focus.

Two unsolicited, unsponsored shout-outs:
1) McDonald's - A company that gets a bad rap and deserves a lot of it (IMO), but they have clean bathrooms, well-lit parking lots, and apple dippers. I limited most of my on-the-road snacks to almonds or bananas, but McD's also has tasty chocolate chip cookies. I know this because I had two. One in Illinois and one in Indiana. The clerks tried to push the 3/$1 special on me, but I know me too well. One cookie was all I needed or wanted. Then it was back to the almond bag. :) (Oddly enough, I was never tempted by the brownie melt.)

2) Best Western - I can't believe I wasted so much money over the years staying at the pricier "business-class" hotels. I stayed in three Best Westerns in three states, and they were all fantastic. Good prices (usually 1/2 of what a Hampton, Holiday Inn, or Courtyard charged), helpful staff, clean rooms, great internet connections, decent workout rooms, and HGTV. A girl traveling solo couldn't ask for more. Two of them even had "forced fitness" by not having elevators. :) They could use some improvements with their free breakfast (biscuits w/gravy? c'mon!), but other than that, I highly recommend them as a frugal travel option.

I learned a lot from this trip about how to manage my October trip to the western U.S. I'll pack more efficiently, for one thing, and I'll also develop a better non-gym strength workout habit. I've worked out at home many times before, but I don't have it "habit-ized" as part of my daily schedule. That change starts TODAY. For August, I'm going to work out at least once a week at home, and then build on that throughout September.

With that, I think I'm caught up. I've been to the grocery store and reloaded the pantry and fridge with fresh, good-for-me foods, and in a few moments, I'll lace up the walking shoes and get out for an hour or so. Life, as normal. Ahhh...

Makeover Monday: Keeping Your Cool

I'm still on the road but heading southward again. I visited friends in Grand Rapids, MI over the weekend and had a great time. That and the fun of BlogHer last weekend have left me feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. I hope it lasts for a while.

I'm normally a pretty easy-going and relaxed person, but I've been noticing lately that I'm quicker to anger these days. I suspect it's a little bit hormones and a little bit uncertainty over employment (or lack thereof.) It's not that I mind anger, if there's a reason for it. Or if it prompts me to take action for or against something. If I can USE it, somehow.

I don't like anger so much when it consumes my thoughts and controls my actions. When IT uses ME.

So I'm working on it. Which is why I was grateful to see these tips for staying cool from anger-management consultant Virginia Williams in this month's Reader's Digest:

1) "Recognize that anger is useful." I was hardly smug at all at already knowing that. As I said, anger can actually be a useful tool in promoting action. It's when it consumes or paralyzes us that it becomes a problem.

2) "Ask yourself if whatever made you angry is important." Okay, I knew about this one, too, but I haven't been practicing it. In my previous office, I used a Big Deal Scale, a simple 8x10 piece of paper with the numbers 0 through 10 in a horizontal line across the middle. When I came across a problem or a situation that made me angry or upset, I would rank it on the Big Deal Scale and rank the problem. Anything that fell below a 'five' got dropped. That left extra time to address the bigger numbers.



3) "Talk yourself down." Love this one. Basically the author suggests several possible interventions, or ways to stop the spiraling-out-of-control tendency:
- Yell Stop! to yourself (silently, she says, but I actually say it out loud)
- Distract yourself (e.g. get up and move, surf the internet planning a dream vacation)
- Breathe in, clench your fists, exhale, release your fists (tried it today and it's wonderful!)
Other possibilities are, of course, prayer and/or meditation.

Like many people, I've sometimes dealt with anger with a knife and fork, but these days my preferred tool is to get out and walk. Basically, I stomp out the anger. :)

How do you deal with anger? In a healthy way, that is. :)