Monday Yuks

Mondays can be difficult for a whole host of reasons. It’s back to the daily grind of life: Work. Yuck. School. Yuck. Traffic. Yuck. Four more days of it after today. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

Or if you’re unemployed, as I am, you’ve got four more days of wondering if there are ever going to be any jobs listed that don’t require a Masters degree in order to make more than $10/hour. ::sigh::

For many folks on the fitness trail, Mondays can also be a day of regret, recrimination, and guilt (a tri-yucker) over weekend dietary disasters and exercise excuses. Or maybe Monday is the day we’ve restarted “our plan” and our bodies, minds, and hearts are in full rebellion (a.k.a. withdrawal.)

Yep, Mondays can be yucky. But they don’t have to be. As the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine. For me, winning the lottery would be #1, but laughter would be right in there behind it. (C’mon, 3-17-25-52-58 *8!)

So here’s my contribution to turning your Monday Yucks into the Monday Yuks. It’s a re-run from 2008, but it still makes me laugh.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
by Author Unknown to me

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. don’t disguise your voice!

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. (Cammy note: I actually do this one all the time, especially with editors.*G*)

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks .. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5. In the memo field of all your checks, write ‘ for marijuana.

6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-through order is ‘to go’. (Cammy blushing note: i have actually done this one, too. Talk about your mindlessness…)

9. Sing along at the opera.

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you have a headache.

11. When the money comes out the ATM, scream ‘I won! I won!’

12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling ‘Run for your lives! They’re loose!’

13. Tell your children over dinner, ‘due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’

I hope that gave you a giggle. No? Okay, here are a few fitness-related quotes that may at least make the corners of your mouth turn up. You can fake it from there.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. ~Mark Twain

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. ~Author Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook. ~Andy Rooney

Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. ~Beth McCollister

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won’t dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn’t taste that bad. ~Janette Barber

If neither of those worked, well, I have to question whether or not you’re really trying. :) And that’s kind of the point of all of this. Mondays (and its cousins) can be difficult, but if we make up our minds to relax and find the fun in the day, life is so much richer.

With that, I’m off to meet a friend for lunch and then to the gym, where I shall continue to exhibit good form. :) Wishing you all a happy and healthy Monday! Find a reason to laugh!

17 thoughts on “Monday Yuks

  1. I love the one about the cookies and Raid :)

    I hear you on the unemployment front too. I’ve got the master’s and have done the minimum wage jobs just for the experience–now it’s time for a real paycheque!

  2. I had seen a similar quote to the holiday one… something like people are so worried about what they eat between Thanksgiving and New Year’s…etc. I thought it was very true.

  3. Yes for the laughs! Thx Cammy!!!!!

    I will take winning the lotto too! AND this: wondering if there are ever going to be any jobs listed that don’t require a Masters degree in order to make more than $10/hour. ::sigh::

    So true!!

    Happy day to you, Ms. good form! :-)

  4. OK, it was amusing, then Janette Barber totally cracked me up.

    I like the decaf coffee idea, too.

    We have a white board at work on which someone wrote “TGIF!” last week. I suppose this did this on Friday, which is my day off since being forced down to half-time.

    Today, I erased those letters and wrote: ODIM! Can you guess what that means?

  5. RE #5: I always write, “Gambino Slush Fund” in the memo space. My bank has called me on this 3 times in 10 years. True.

    BTW: A Master’s degree is just another way of saying, “I wasn’t ambitious enough to look for a job”, and yes, I have one which is why I am self-employed….. :-)

  6. Love these! I always imagine doing them, and laugh at what I think would happen, then usually chicken out before I actually do any.

    I don’t mind Mondays. I eat a more regular, balanced diet on weekdays since I’m around the office and not all over the place like weekends. I also know I’m getting at least 3 km of walking in (to/from work). Sure I have to wake up earlier and spend 8+ hours at a desk but it’s not all bad! :)

  7. Thanks for the laughs! I know that I am not like most people, I happen to love Mondays. It is the beginning of a new week and I just love it!

  8. As a long timer on the unemployment thing I can tell you that the higher degree can be problematic, too. I almost had a job until I told them about the degree I had not put on my resume…now I never tell. I figure I’ll take my chances on their “background check.”

    Thanks for all the giggles!

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