Beware the ooey-gooey puddle in the middle of the walking path. It could be me you’re stepping over.
Last night I had the brilliant idea to get up early this morning and get my walk in before the heat reached the brutal stage. I even had the lofty goal of walking five miles. Since it was, you know, so much cooler that early in the day.
Hah! HAH!, I say! I didn’t factor in that last night’s low was 84°. At 7 a.m. this morning, it was 86° .with a heat index already in the 90s! My shirt was soaking wet after the first mile! By the third mile, I was starting to feel decomposition setting in, so I waved the white flag (or the green towel, which was handier and also sweat-soaked.)
Kenny Rogers was right with that whole “know when to hold ’em; know when to fold ’em” advice. I folded.
To ensure I get the proper amount of sympathy out of this, take a look at our current conditions:
In all seriousness and from the comfort of my air-conditioned home, this isn’t weather to mess around with. I feel so sorry for the folks whose jobs require them to be out and about in this mess. They’ve just got to be miserable. I hope the companies they work for are relaxing production requirements and letting them have frequent breaks.
I do not, however, feel much sympathy for the woman who just jogged past my house. I think it was a woman. Or maybe a lobster. Something bright red and not carrying a water bottle. I understand not wanting to miss a planned workout, but that’s just plain crazy. Too bad I don’t have a speaker system. I’d broadcast that Kenny Rogers song all day long. Starting at 7 a.m.
If you’re suffering along with me, know that you have my sympathies along with a fervent plea to please be careful out there. As for me, I’ll be hitting the gym for the duration. The park will be there when the heat wave is over.
Thus endeth what I hope will be my last weather whining post until February. (But I reserve the right to change my mind on that, because it’s just too hot to think of much else.) Perhaps tomorrow I’ll produce something that’s actually, you know, useful.