Open Letter from Your Neighborhood Walker

Dear Neighbors,

Hi! How’ve you been? Are you as glad as I am that spring is finally here?

I wanted to take a moment to thank you for a few things:

clematis and dianthus

Thank you for the mailbox flowers!

I love clematis and dianthus (I think that’s what those are), and this color combo caught my eye from the corner. I hadn’t really intended to walk up the hill to your house, but the pink & purple pretties pulled me over.

split tree

Thank you for noticing your broken tree!

Thank you, also, for surrounding it with hazard tape so that oblivious walkers don’t end up in the wrong place at the wrong time.


Thank you for watering the street!

I’ve selfishly never considered watering either the street or the sidewalk, but as this photo clearly shows, they were both completely dry (as was I) until you thoughtfully turned on your sprinkler. (Perhaps you hadn’t seen the weather reports calling for major rain tonight?)

sweet gum balls on sidewalk

Thank you for decorating your sidewalk with these sweet gum balls!

I probably burned an extra 100 calories just sidestepping these pointy hazards. (May I suggest you check your homeowner’s insurance to ensure you have the proper amount of liability coverage? Just a thought.)

car exiting parking lot

Thank you for not squishing me!

You were very kind to wave as you zoomed across the sidewalk, paused at the street, and continued on your way. Here I thought you weren’t paying any attention to the walker on the sidewalk. You know, the one with the right of way. I’d be even more grateful if you would stop before you reached the sidewalk. I might even wave back with all my fingers rather than the one I used in this case.

I love living with you guys (admittedly some more than others), and I think with a tweak here and there we can avoid any nasty (and painful) accidents or litigation and have our own little corner of Paradise here.


In case you don’t recognize my name, I’m the slightly squishy-bellied walker who zips down the sidewalk (when it’s not being sprinkled, that is) singing along (badly) with her itunes.

Side note to non-neighboring readers: are your sidewalks walker-friendly?

20 thoughts on “Open Letter from Your Neighborhood Walker

  1. Too funny, Cammy! The sidewalks here are okay, except for occasional dog poop. I’m glad none of your neighbors have unfriendly dogs that you meet.

  2. You crack me up! I always look forward to your posts! There aren’t any sidewalks in my neighborhood and anyone driving by stops to talk because we all know each other. The pros/cons of living in a small town.

  3. I should be so lucky to HAVE sidewalks. My area of town although settled and older is definitely NOT walker/biked friendly. To even get to a sidestreet where walking is safe, I have to walk through two yards. It’s our one and only complaint about our neighborhood. I rarely walk close by – I just get in the car and drive a few miles to one of the greenways.

  4. Cammy – this was great!!! Too fuuny & yes, when they turn on the sprinklers & it rained or is going to rain!

    Some of my sidewalkers are friendly as I jog by. others, not so much.. cars, always in a rush around here!

  5. Our sidewalks are terrible, broken, multi-leveled. I’d go in the street, but the streets are concave for snow/water run-off. The best place to walk is right in the middle. I’m pretty happy with the neighbors’ behavior, though.

  6. Lovely sarcastic tone to vent those frustrations! Our amusement, but quite serious for you. Keep focusing on the flowers and watching out for vehicles with drivers who are more engaged in what they’re thinking about than watching for pedestrians.

  7. What drives me nuts is on my morning run (usually every other day) there’s always one house that has tons of water running out from under the back fence to water the sidewalk. It’s so so so wasteful and I just want to leave a note on their front door saying something to the effect of, “If you’re just going to throw money away, could your turn off your sprinklers and maybe just put the cash right in my mailbox? Kthxbai!”

  8. That’s funny , Cammy! Love the color combo in the first pic. And to the driving neighbor–a cop NAILED a guy who saw me trying to cross at a crosswalk and zoomed on through anyway. Score one for the walkers!

  9. The pink and purple flowers sure are pretty! But definitely steer clear of that tree (the caution tape serves as a warning, but would do precious little if that mighty oak spontaneously splits in half) and the oversprinklerer. You might be able to make a game out of navigating through the spiky nuts (sorry – I don’t know what they’re called!). Or maybe you can collect a few en route to “share with” (read: throw at) inconsiderate drivers who do not give the right-of-way to pedestrians?

    I’m envious of all the space you have for walking, my friend! While there’s plenty of sidewalk here, I’m not comfortable walking in my hood (the chance of stumbling onto crack deals is higher than the likelihood of stepping on a spiky nut). So I stick to the treadmill at The Gym. (Now that the weather’s getting warmer, though, I should start hitting the park on the weekends.) :-)

  10. Thanks for the laughs this morning!

    We don’t have sidewalks or sprinklers in our neighborhood (and few cars zip along). Most folks here are cautious of bikers and walkers. In fact it’s the bikers and walkers who often take up more than their share of the road. I try to be a courteous walker, so to avoid car confrontations, it’s trail walking or off to the park for me.

  11. Too, too funny! We live on a walking path, and I would add the delightful “packages” thoughtfully dropped off by the gigantic dogs that frequent the path. Other than that, I think you covered all the bases. Funny stuff.

  12. My neighborhood is not really walking friendly (I almost wrote walker-friendly, but that’s something altogether different, isn’t it?). So I just take the dog for a quick spin around the block and walk on the treadmill at gym for exercise (more often I just dance at home).

    Love the flowers!

  13. I have encountered some strange things on my walks as well. I guess people who don’t use the sidewalk or go for walks don’t even think about the shape the sidewalk in front of their house is!

  14. I can sympathize with you regarding your neighbors. Mine like to use the woods across the street as a place to dump their fast-food bags. One thing I wish though, is that we actually had sidewalks. None in my entire neighborhood, and the road is too dangerous to walk on with such fast drivers. Luckily we have a park about 5 minutes away which we use all of the time to walk the dogs.

  15. Even with all the hazards, I’m glad that spring appears to be on its way. I can’t believe how much the sunshine helps my outlook!

  16. No sidewalks where I live, you walking in the street/gutter and sometimes yards, if there are cars meeting. That was in my subdivison. Now that DH & are are country dwellers we really do walk in the road and carry a big stick and pistol. Stick for unfriendly dogs; pistol for snakes.

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