My Advice to Kim Kardashian

As a child, I was taught that it’s not nice to laugh at others’ misfortunes, but I couldn’t help laughing when I read this quote yesterday:

“I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don’t work out as planned.”
~ from Kim Kardashian’s press release regarding her divorce

I shouldn’t have laughed–really, my mother would be so disappointed in me!–but after all the preening and media hoopla surrounding an obnoxiously extravagant wedding, it seemed absurd that the whole thing was over in 72 days. So even though divorce isn’t funny, I confess, I had a giggle or two.

Have you ever noticed how your conscience will just jump up out of nowhere sometimes and slap you across the face? Yeah, I know, it only happens to me.

As I was trying–almost successfully–to return to the important news of the day, the voice of Cammy Past whispered in my ear: How many “This-Is-It!” diets did you go on that didn’t last 72 hours, Ms. Smarty-Pants Giggler?

Talk about hitting below my squish-bellied belt! Since, given my history, it wouldn’t surprise me if the answer to that question is somewhere around 72 diets, I clearly have no right to be laughing at anyone for falling a tad short of forever on anything. (Besides, which, it showed a distinctive lack of compassion and character and anything better to do.)

Instead of snickering, I should have recognized our Kim-and-Cammy common ground and sent solidarity vibes across the miles. After all, changing to a (mostly) committed healthy(ish) lifestyle is practically the same thing as committing to your One True Love for eternity. The only real difference is the object of your affection. Well, there’s potential alimony (and in this case, residuals), too, but really, it’s mostly about the object. In my case, that object was ME.

I’ve made it past the 72-day and the 72-week marks and I’m over halfway to 72-months on my forever commitment. I’ve learned a lot (and continue to learn every day), and if I was asked, I’d offer these suggestions to Kim Kardashian, should she decide to go for Season 2 anytime soon:

1. Make sure you ‘re doing it for the right reasons. A TV show, bunches of dollars and fancy dresses, and lots of attention are not good reasons to marry someone. (Don’t feel bad, trying to lose weight to fit some celebrity-inspired body image ideal isn’t a good reason to try to lose weight either, but I did it.)

2. Prepare to put effort into it. Marriage is not something you can throw some money into and then “hope” it turns out okay. You have to WORK at it. (Oops, I used the ‘W’ word!)

3. Expect problems and bumps in the road. If you know your intended (or yourself) AT ALL, you can probably figure out ahead of time what some of the problems might be and then work together to create a way to deal with them.

4. Fire every advisor you currently have on staff. (This won’t be easy, I know. I still pick up diet books from time to time. Be strong!)

5. Go on an extended vacation and be very, very, very quiet for a while. Refuse all interviews and photo ops. But don’t wait for the next marriage (or the reconciliation–whichever comes first); do it NOW! Please! My commitment to not go head-first into my Halloween Snickers stash if I have to read another word about any of this depends on it!

Anyone have anything to add? :)

Here’s today’s tip to blatantly self-promote celebrate the launching of my new sister-site, Serentipity:

After you’ve got your lipstick looking just the way you want it, rub ice over your lips to set the color and prevent smudging. It works!

Do I need to mention that the ice shouldn’t be attached to a frozen metal pole?

Just a little pre-holiday humor. :)

17 thoughts on “My Advice to Kim Kardashian

  1. Kim Kardashian got divorced after 72 days….I am surprised it lasted that long!!! What a waste of $10 million, I had watched Kim’s Fairytale Wedding the other day… But never mind, I had also read somewhere that I read that she raked in $17.9 million for that wedding alone from selling the so called marriage rights! still she has made a handsome profit of $7.9 million! CRAZY!!!

  2. Great advice for Kim and here’s my 2 cents worth for Kim and the rest of us. Realize that this world does NOT revolve around you! Look outside of YOUR wants, YOUR pleasure, YOUR fun and YOUR life and start doing something that might help or benefit someone else. You’ll find when serving others whether it be giving time, money or simple friendship, that you tend to forget about yourself. For us here in Weight Loss BlogLand, it also takes our minds off of what our next meal, snack or treat will be and reminds us that lots of people have no idea where their next meal will come from and who knows when they might have another treat! Sobering reality!

  3. I don’t know much about the Kardashians. I don’t watch the tv show, but of course I couldn’t help but watch some of the wedding stuff since it was everywhere. The thing that strikes me so much this week is the way everyone points out the waste of money or that she feels entitled and all that kind of thing.

    Maybe so, but I bet this is also a painful time for her. She’s young, and she’s been spoiled. Think of the entitlement in regular old middle class people with loving, helicopter parents… now, think what fame and fortune does to complicate that and make the kids even more spoiled and entitled. And it’s not at all uncommon for people to get so focused on wedding planning that they forget to focus on marriage planning. It happens every day, just not in such a public forum. My guess is that Kim is pretty embarrassed right now. Hopefully, she’ll learn some of the lessons that we all need to learn — no matter what our fame or financial status in life is.

  4. Honestly, I can’t waste a brain cell on that woman.

    Great lipstick tip! We went to Ralphie’s House in Cleveland last year. Highly recommended to get you in the Christmas spirit. (Not that I need help. I start listening to instrumental Christmas music in July!)

  5. Cammy – great analogy & way to put Kim K to bed! 😉 Man, I am really tired of her & that family on the news every night – can’t they leave them on entertainment & gossip shows! Have you noticed how all the crap is part of the news now & sometimes the leading story! :-O

    I digress.. your points are so true & not only is it work but HARD work & maintenance is too! I always say consistency, patience & as we all know food is at least 75% of this…. as for me – always learning & still learning!

    HEY, I love your ti – must try! AND love that movie!!!

  6. Love the analogy. Although, can’t help but be struck by a key difference in a legal union that costs millions of dollars and a personal commitment that costs nothing:) Did you know this was actually her second marriage? I might add to learn from one’s mistakes. Clever post.

  7. I had to google Kim K. to see just why she’s famous besides her last name. Gosh, its times like this I am so glad I don’t have regular tv. I am only aware of her because her brother is on Dancing with the Stars this season. He seems like a nice young man…

    The Wikipedia had a very funny statement about the only reason she was famous. But since she seems to have a predilection to suing various and sundry people, I decided not to repeat it, just in case she’s reading your blog for marriage advice (which was very good, BTW.)

    Good analogy. Off to check out this morning’s tips!

  8. I have to say I’m sad to see how so many people find pleasure in their failed marriage. I was surprised, too. I mean 72 days clearly isn’t very long. But the fact is: we don’t know anything about their marriage. And who are we to judge? I don’t like it one bit!

    So thumbs up for this post!

  9. I had 2 thoughts when I heard some “celebrity” had a marriage that lasted 72 days. 1) Sanctity of marriage? My mind bobbles that our 20-year commitment stil cannot count in our country. 2) If she can start and end a marriage in 72 days, I can write a damn novel in 30!

    Off to go read catch up on your other blog. My reader isn’t picking up the posts. (Undoubtedly my mis-paste or mis-click.)

  10. I still don’t understand why her marriage and divorce are headline news!

    Why not choose a couple that has made a commitment to each other and stayed married and make them headline news! We have celebrated 32 years together, Jan and her partner have 20 years together. Shouldn’t some of these relationships be headlines news and used as role models instead of these rich spoiled girls who don’t have a clue as to what they are doing but yet are held up as role models!

    Okay as you can see this has hit a raw nerve with me.

    Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has to learn from them, I get that. I have had my share of ups and downs with my weight and I get the analogy. Who are we to judge when we all have our own baggage.

  11. You are such a generous spirit, Cammy! I admit I was sniggering, but you’ve sobered me up… Thanks!

  12. I find it just really sad, because if she knew before 72 days were up (which she had to have), there must have been some doubts before saying “I do”.

    Sad that some people are not allowed to marry because of what it would “do” to the institution of marriage, and yet other people can get married and divorced on a whim – and spend millions of dollars.

  13. Cammy, you are too funny – and too clever for your own good! Leave it to you to create an entertaining post that’s even MORE entertaining that the Kardashian’s! lol

  14. I’m with those who say they won’t waste a brain cell on her…and I will answer those who ask why people like her get so much attention: it’s because WE talk consume their “products” and because we talk about them…if we all ignored such people and shows, they wouldn’t be on our radar.

    ANYWAY, yours is a clever post and your points are very well taken :-)

    My advice: anything undertaken out from a place of panic or desperation is destined to backfire spectacularly…oh, but wait, maybe this is what she intended all along?

  15. Pingback: Caught up in the Fairytale

  16. You are so brilliant! Way to turn it into something totally useful!!
    I really like your tips.
    it’s jsut what I need right now as my own committment is being tested. I’m committed to losing weight and being healthy, but the day to day is wearing on me. I want to read your list again.
    thank you!!

  17. Good advice. I was one of the people that laughed at the lifespan of Kim K’s marriage, but you’re right that we all fall short on some kind of commitment or other. I’ve been on a weight loss journey for almost 3 years now and I’m currently down 45 pounds, but I’ve definitely had my fits and starts, and weeks of poor eating, or not logging my meals. I still want to lose about 15 more pounds, and I’m sure I’ll have more challenges along the way, but I won’t give up!

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