Making Music

making music quote

For years, I put off doing a lot of things I really wanted to do. For one thing, I wasn’t in physical condition to support some of those desires, and for another, I lacked the confidence and spirit to try. I couldn’t even manage my own weight; how could I {insert fun or interesting thing here}? I tried consoling myself with “when I…then I” plans. When I lose weight, then I’ll do this. Or that. Or the other thing.

Finally the day came when I’d lost the weight. It was time for “then”. The company dangled a buy-out opportunity in front of me and I took it. With glee. I ran off to Florida for a week and fulfilled one of my wishes:

jet ski

No, that's not Casper the Ghost--it's me!

I was grinning from ear to ear as I jetted across the water, but I also shed a few tears of joy and pride and gratitude. I had done IT, and I was finally enjoying the fruits of my efforts.

About that time, a couple riding a tandem jetski passed me, the woman laughing and squealing and holding onto her partner for dear life. I could see his grin even from a distance. As I watched them ride along, I realized that they were both obese, significantly so. Hadn’t they received the memo that they were supposed to wait until they’d lost weight before they did something fun and daring–especially something that involved swimsuits? Obviously not, because they were clearly having the time of their lives. Their joy made ME smile.

And then came the gut punch, the awareness that they had it right and that I’d wasted a whole lot of years getting ready to live and not going out and living. Lesson learned.

Okay, lesson sort of learned. I still have a tendency to over-plan and put things off until some self-determined “right” moment, but at least I’m catching myself in the act now. That’s progress, right?

I’m not sure if I’d call this week a making music week for me, but I *am* at least tuning my instruments. I’m taking time to identify the things that I’ve convinced myself make now not the “right” moment and clear as many as I can out of the way. I don’t travel again until Thursday and next week is open, for now, so I fully expect to be singing one (or more) new songs this Spring.

My whole point in bringing this up is to encourage YOU to learn from my failure–to get out there and LIVE. Don’t let your weight hold you back, because you DESERVE to have a joyful life NOW!

What are you waiting for?

18 thoughts on “Making Music

  1. Once I used to say “I can’t get a job because I don’t have any clothes that fit and don’t want to get new ones in this size.” Glad that’s not the case anymore.

  2. Life is short. Do it now, whatever it is. This is ringing in my ears this week as a 30 year old colleague dropped dead of a pulmonary embolism. This isn’t a dress rehearsal. Great post, Cammy.

    Internet high five back at you for the jet ski!

  3. our life is short lets make it more memorable and excitement…lets live in a happy way of life..

  4. Oh Cammy! I think most of us do this one way or another.

    It’s quite brave of you to admit to it and even more wonderful that you are identifying it and learning to change.

    One thing I noticed was that my confidence increased with age!!!!! With that growing confidence came a greater willingness to learn new ways and become bolder in doing new things. Which is just as well because another thing increasing age brings uis sometimes the inability to do some of those adventurous things.

    You are in the prime of life … forget the youngsters, as we head into out 40s the world is our oyster in every way.

    I can see you having so many adventures and so much fun now that you are in the right moment.


  5. Awareness IS progress! That is how we learn, change and grow. I passed up so many things because of my weight. I did a lot of sitting and watching instead of living and enjoying. I can’t go back and have a re-do, but I can take that knowledge forward and live my best life now NO MATTER WHAT!!!! xoxoxo LOVE LOVE LOVE this post Cammy!!!

  6. So true! It’s so tempting to wait to start your life until after you’ve lost the weight. Sometimes, for me, it’s just an excuse not to take a risk. I honestly don’t think that if I even if I were skinny, I would have any more courage to do scary things.

  7. Okay now, this post really hit home for me! I often feel as if I’ve put my whole life on hold because of my weight. Strangely enough, one of the things I want to pursue is music… not for anyone else – just for me. Yet, I postpone every week.

    There is one thing – my dream – that will have to wait. I want to ride horses again, but nobody will take me over 220 pounds. It’s going to be a while, but you know what, I WILL do it.

  8. Thank you for this. Most of the things that we don’t do right now are because there are weight/size limits for the activities we want to do. (Ziplines, roller coasters, kayaking, etc)

    However there is something I was really struggling with for our upcoming vacation but didn’t want to do because “what if people were watching?” Screw ’em, let them watch. Thank you for giving me the kick in the butt I needed to make the payment so there’s no worming out of it!

  9. I don’t know what more I can say – LOVE THIS & that quote at the beginning! SO TRUE!!! There is never a perfect time for anything so just go for it! :-) Lesson learned! Thx & needed this!

  10. I love this post, and I’m glad you’re making progress in this. I could have been one of those two people you saw doing activities despite the weight. I’ve always tried to do everything I wanted to do even if thoughts that I shouldn’t passed through my mind. Obviously, there are some things with absolute weight limits… but others (like parasailing) don’t have weight limits. Carpe diem!

    But there are some things I want to tackle that do require significantly more weight loss… like a marathon. 5k – check. 10k – check. Half and full are in my future!

  11. “at least I’m catching myself in the act now. That’s progress, right?”

    YES!!! It’s ALL about catching ourselves sooner…no matter what the issue. Love this post…and can very much relate as I was one of those “when…then” people. And not just with my weight. I also agree with MargieAnne…with age comes both confidence AND the ability not to care what others think.

  12. Great post. I knew so many single women (when I was in my 20’s) who were just living their life on hold, hoping to get married. I was determined NOT to do that.

    But now sometimes I find myself wondering if the time for ‘something I always wanted to do’ has passed. As in, do I really want to do that and all the work it entails, or do I just like the ‘dream’ of it. If that makes sense.

  13. It’s so funny that we wrote about the same topic at the same time! It’s really important though, so it makes sense! Great, GREAT post!

  14. what a great post, Cammy. I did exactly the same thing you did. Where is this unwritten law that we have to wait until ? in order to do ! It really does take away the beauty of life and enjoyment of living in the moment. I know that your post will help someone else realize this, too.

  15. Such a wonderful post. I waited so long to do things because of my weight, now I’m wondering why I am still waiting…

Comments are closed.