Apologies for my unintended absence from the blog! What can I say, it’s been a full week. As usual, there were ups and downs. More of the former, fortunately, than the latter.
Things started off pretty good, with a bi-weekly field trip with the parents and Memaw. In addition to laughs and good conversation, I had two of these:
For those unfamiliar with slot machines, two “double-double” symbols pay four times the win for a red 7. In this case, it paid Yours Truly the princely sum of $8.00. (Don’t laugh! When you only bet 18 cents per spin, the jackpots aren’t exactly huge. )
On the way home, I spotted this unusual-to-me sight:
I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a field of sunflowers before! Dad was kind enough to pull over and let me snap a photo; Mom and Memaw were kind not to complain when I left the van door open in the 95° heat. (It wasn’t that long, since Dad called out a reminder to watch out for snakes.)
With another successful completion of Fun with Seniors! Day, I had hopes that the rest of the week would continue to be positive. It was not to be.
As I’ve mentioned before, post-weight loss body acceptance (specifically, the squish belly) is one of the dragons I’m still trying to slay, but as the saying goes, some days the dragon wins.
Usually, I’m able to stay focused on the greatest benefits of weight loss–improved strength, increased energy, better health, heightened confidence, etc. And then I have to go clothes shopping, and all bets are off.
All I needed was an inexpensive, casual pair of black pants for work, suitable for wearing with flats. (Of the half dozen pair of black pants I own, five of them are of a length to be worn with heels. Plus, to be honest, they’re a bit too nice to wear in some of the places my work takes me.) Well, apparently women’s pants are now being made for WNBA players only. Or, because it’s summer, the casual pants on the racks are capris or ankle pants.
It didn’t help that it was hot and humid outside, and even though I was shopping inside, it was like walking through a blast furnace to get there. So I was already hot and uncomfortable to begin with, and then I couldn’t find any pants that met my criteria and fit right. And the more frustrated I felt, the more I turned my attention to my body’s imperfections. As you can imagine, the internal dialogue was NOT kind, and the longer it went on, the larger the body part in question (the squish belly) became in my mind. The crazy part was that my belly wasn’t even the problem. Most of the pants were simply too long.
Anyway, after my fourth store, I called it quits for the day. I intended to go home for a medicinal nap, but on the way I decided to stop for a medicinal cookie instead.
McD’s chocolate chip cookie = portion-controlled emotional eating. Well, it wasn’t truly emotional eating. I had already budgeted a cookie for later in the day, after my walk, but it seemed to be a good idea to move it up in the line-up.
I doubt the cookie did anything magical for me, but taking 15 minutes to sit in the air-conditioned restaurant and nibble away at it while sipping a cold beverage restored my right thinking. I recognized that in my overheated, frustrated state, I had been making irrational criticisms rather than accurate observations. Thoughts like, “If you didn’t have so much blubber, these would fit better.” Not only unkind, but mostly untrue. I could have Scarlett O’Hara’s corseted 17″ waist, and those pants wouldn’t have fit BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO LONG. LOL
On my walk that night, which I couldn’t blow off because I’d already eaten the cookie, I spent some time replaying some of the dialogue and rewriting it in a more positive light. It’s not the first time I’ve had to do it, and it won’t be the last. Too many years of focusing on the wrong values, I think.
Yesterday I started the day early ( (pre-blast furnace) at Kohl’s and found a perfect pair of pants right away. Well, perfect for these purposes. The internal dialogue was much improved, too, with the most negative observation being along these lines, “The length is good but the fit isn’t flattering. Next!” Much kinder and much more accurate. No dragons to slay and no nap or cookie required.
All things considered, it was a good week. Yes, the dragon had his day, but I eventually won that battle. Exercise was excellent this week, nutrition and calories were good, and I won a jackpot and saw a sunflower field in the same day. Along the way, I learned some lessons that I hope will be useful in future situations. And there will be future situations, I’m sure.
I heard a wonderful quote this week: “There are no mistakes, only lessons learned.” I liked it so much I made it into a desktop wallpaper using a photo from my archives that I was about to delete because it was blurry:
Positive attitudes blur sometimes, but there’s almost always a lesson in the experience. My lesson from this week’s “mistake” is that a picture, whether physical or mental, doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
What lesson(s) did you learn this week?