Spring is Springing and So Should We

I'm beginning to see signs of Spring. Exhibit A, the view from Home Depot's parking lot (with apologies to man behind me waiting for me to find my iPhone):

Isn't this a lovely sight? Such promise in these blossoms. I always feel such a sense of renewal and hope when Spring rolls around. That may be one of the factors in why I was suddenly successful in shedding my weight: I started in Spring.

I'm not sure where we ever got the idea that January was a good time to begin a weight loss or healthy diet plan. It's such a dismal time of year, at least here in Memphis. Cold, gray rainy days. Mostly lousy fresh fruit and veggie selections or too pricey to be enjoyed in abundance. Valentine's Day. Horrible time for yours truly to really get enthused or focused on health when I mostly want to curl up with Cheetos and a good book and wait for the pizza guy to stop by.

Spring is a different story! Warmer weather, lots of sunshine to accompany the seasonal rain, and fresh, luscious strawberries at affordable prices, soon to be followed by cantaloupe and tomatoes. (Except this year, when we've been warned that Florida's tomato crop was damaged. *mourns*)

If you're one of the gazillion people (formerly including ME) who started the year with a healthy bang and now feel your spirits fading, you might benefit from the article that follows, which I previously published last year as part of my Makeover Monday series. Not to be immodest, but I got a teensy motivational bounce out of re-reading it.

Spring Cleaning on the Inside

(originally posted on 3/16/09)

Think about your life (health, fitness, relationships, career, finance, etc.). Where are you now? Where do you want to be? Why aren't you there? Don't beat yourself up over it; just ponder the matter and see if any of these nasties have crept into your life:

Excuses: We're probably all guilty of making excuses for ourselves when we're trying to justify something we should or shouldn't have done. Surely, it's not just me. (Antidote: When you catch yourself making an excuse for something, ask, "Is this really true, or am I just making myself feel better?")

Rationalizations: Did you know that another way to spell "rationalize" is "rational lies"? These are the thoughts and words we use to give ourselves permission to do something we know is wrong. (Antidote: Unrelenting honesty with yourself. YOU know the truth about your efforts.)

Unfair Limitations: Many, perhaps even most, of the limitations we face are self-imposed. Why we would do this to ourselves, I don't know, but we do. (Antidote: Ask yourself, "If I didn't have xxx in my way, what would be by next step? Then figure out how you can do it--or some form of it--anyway.)

Regrets and Resentments: Writer Malachy McCourt once said, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Holding on to past haunts and hurts prevents us from moving forward. (Antidote: Forgive yourself and any others involved, and focus on the future. At minimum, let it go.)

Procrastination: "Someday" thinking is fun for thinking about the lottery. For managing our lives, it doesn't work so well. (Antidote: See Makeover Monday: Getting It Done.)

RightThisMinute Thinking: We all want to see results fast. Whether it's successful weight loss, financial security, starting a family, or any host of other desires, many of us have a tendency to want to get it done rightthisveryminute. We should be applauded for our energy, but doing things too quickly can cause us to do them in a way that's unhealthy, inefficient, or ineffective. (Antidote: Patience. Focus on progress, not the goal line. Unless, you're looking at the goal line, of course, and then it's eyes on the prize time!)

These evil little habits have a way of creeping into our lives and derailing our progress. Join me this spring in spending a little time with a mental broom and dustpan, eliminating this clutter from our lives. Note that I didn't say we'd eliminate it for good. Old habits die hard, as the saying goes, and I'm sure we'll all face these pesky demons again at some time in the future. We're savvy enough to know that and strong enough to defeat them.

♣♣♣♣♣♣

I hope you found something helpful in all that and wish you much success in tossing the nasties and moving forward. I've definitely got a bit more "Spring" in my step this week!

Makeover Monday

I'm making over my makeover. Although there are plenty of areas of my life I'd like to improve, or explore the possibilities for improvement, I'm not making over anything this week. Instead, I'm going to focus on accepting the imperfect me just as I am. You're cordially invited to join me.

Sometimes I pursue makeovers simply because a product or concept looks interesting. It's fun to try new things. Sometimes, though, it's because I'm dissatisfied with some aspect of my life, which is fine if the dissatisfaction is based on some self-determined and realistic standard, but not fine if I'm holding myself to some impossible standard. It's also not fine if along the way, I forget to acknowledge and celebrate the truly good things about being me. Instead, I develop a pattern on focusing on the negatives, and I know from experience that what I focus on gains momentum.

Three relatively simple things to do to move along (or back onto) the road to self-acceptance:

* Start your day by repeating this quasi-mantra: "Today starts today." Accepting ourselves includes accepting that our past behaviors can't be undone. We can (and should) apologize to those we've wronged or hurt, including ourselves, but we must move on from it. Let today begin today, with the past in its proper place.

* Before you leave home, visualize yourself going through your day being your best self, regardless of size, shape, or physical imperfections (real or imagined.) See yourself being happy in your own skin, without thought or concern as to how you are perceived by others.

* Set aside a few minutes at the end of the day to write down the good things you did that day. Yes, record your diet and exercise, if you must, but the idea is to go deeper, to highlight those things that show the wonderful person you are, inside and out. After all, your value to the planet is not dependent on the size of your blue jeans, be they size 6, 16, or 26.

Self-improvement is a good thing. I highly recommend it.

Self-acceptance is a beautiful thing. It allows us to live in the moment or looking ahead, which in turns allows us to move forward, loving ourselves all the way.

***

With that said, Makeover Monday is on hiatus indefinitely. I'll still be trying new things from time to time (and sharing them here, no doubt--it's how I'm made), but I think it's time to shift to something else. Maybe Time Saver Tuesday or something along those lines. That will free up Mondays to tell you about my fascinating weekends. :)

Makeover Monday: Dashing About in an Orderly Fashion

Greetings from...Memphis! Yep, I'm home! I explored for 5,250 miles before running out of steam. Not to mention, money. :)

As you might expect, being gone from home for so long has resulted in quite a few errands to run. I'm trying to be orderly (and a little bit fun) about it, and so far it's working. I'll be back to blogging regularly soon, but until then, I'll share this glimpse of how I'm spending my time in running errands in a (mostly) organized way:

1. The List - Y'all know how I love my lists! When I'm writing my daily MITs, I keep a separate list of errands that need to be run. If I don't write it down, it's quite often forgotten.

2. Grouping errands - I generally group by geographic area. Folks with kids might group errands that can be run with or without the young-'uns, or those that need to be done before school or after school, etc.

3. Map out your route - This will help with using your time most effectively. No point in showing up at the post office before it opens. Unless, of course, you're using the automated postal center. If I have many errands to run, I list them in the desired order on an index card and clip it to my visor.

4. Use the off-hours - When possible, run errands when other people aren't running theirs. This means avoiding Saturday and Sunday, weekdays around noon, and the hours just after normal business hours. When I worked at a paying j-o-b, I took my lunch hour at 11:00 a.m., partially because I ate breakfast at 6:00 and was usually starving by 11:00, but also because if I had any errands to take care of, I could get them done before the crowds of folks who ran their errands at noon.

4. Create an errand command center - For me, this is a copper tub near the back door into which I place things that need to go with me when I leave the house. Mail for the post office, items to be returned to a store, gym bag, and so on. The idea is that I'll grab it as I rush out the door, but I'll admit that I frequently remember only when I'm clipping my "map" to my visor (See #3). Then I have to turn off the car motor, get out of the car, and go back into the house. So pitiful. I'm working on it.

5. Prepare for waiting - I almost always have a book and/or a notebook with me. Both are great ways to use any waiting time wisely or indulgently. I sometimes read blog posts on my iPhone, but that's not the wisest way for me to do it, since my iPhone keyboarding skills are pathetic.

6. Prepare for hunger - Sometimes errands run past the allotted time and mealtime creeps up on you. It's best to have a healthy snack on hand (fruit, nuts, granola bar) to avoid finding yourself wolfing down an Jumbo Burger with Jumbo Fries and Jumbo Shake from the nearest drive through.

7. Reward success - When I'm particularly efficient, I give myself a tangible "well done!" It might be something as simple as a stop at the library or a bookstore, or maybe a few minutes spent sitting in the sunshine reading and drinking a frosty Diet Coke.

And that's the extent of my errand running knowledge. If you have any tips to share, please do!

Makeover Monday Redux: Handbag Re-do

Greetings from New Mexico (again)! I've made the turn east and am headed for home, where I will probably land on Tuesday or Wednesday. Photos have been updated through San Francisco. (linked)

This week's Makeover Monday post is once again revisiting a topic from last year. This revisit is inspired by the sore shoulder I've acquired from carrying around a purse/tote bag crammed with...stuff. I've done so well on keeping an organized handbag, until this trip. Now, it's all a jumble of papers, maps, brochures, and...stuff. Time for a re-do, for sure.

If your handbag (wallet, gym bag, briefcase, etc.) could use a makeover, check out this post (linked) for some handy tips!

I've missed you all so much! My reader is at 623 unread posts, so I know what I'll be doing while I'm catching up laundry. :)

Be well...and have an awesome week!

Makeover Monday Redux: Pucker Up!

Greetings from the giddy traveler! And profuse apologies for not updating more frequently. This has been a whirlwind couple of weeks with lots of miles and even more smiles. So far I've visited Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. I am living in a state of bliss. Fatigued bliss, but bliss nonetheless.

Some of you may remember one of my earliest posts on this blog on the reasons why I wanted to lose weight and adopt a healthier lifestyle. I'm happy to report that I can check another one off the list:

To travel to San Francisco and ride a bike uphill with my friend

On Saturday, my friend Morgan and I, along with two other dear friends, bicycled across the Golden Gate Bridge and into Sausalito, CA. There aren't enough words to describe how awesome I felt being able to complete that ride. It wasn't always elegant, but I made it!

Morgan has also taken me on bike rides to the Castro District and the Haight-Ashbury area. While she's been careful to avoid the truly horrific hills, there have been some tough spots for this Delta-dwelling gal. I've truly been thankful for all the squats and lunges I did this past summer. :)

As you might expect, I've also been doing LOTS of walking. Six hours one day in Venice, CA, five hours my first day here in San Franciso, and two hours today before our bike ride. I'm so grateful for being fit enough to do it and even more importantly, to enjoy it.

One negative of all this outdoor activity has been some serious chapped lips. First there were the desert winds, and then the beach winds in LA. The strong winds and cool temps on the Golden Gate Bridge certainly didn't help. That's why this Monday's re-visit is a January 2009 post with tips on treating chapped lips (linked). Hope you enjoy it.

I don't know when things will be back to normal here. Thank you for hanging in with me while I indulge myself in this joyous journey!

P.S.
I've updated photos through L.A. I'll update with San Francisco when my computer starts behaving properly.

Makeover Monday Redux: On Sleeping

Greetings from Las Vegas, where I have just spent five laugh-filled days with a fun and lively group of friends. The calories have been empty,the exercise mostly of the laugh-until-you-pee variety, and the sleep non-existent--pretty much the opposite of my normal life. But as they say, what goes on in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas. Our gathering is officially over, and I'm looking forward to getting back to normal.

As I did last week, I'm "recirculating" a previous Makeover Monday post. To Sleep, Perchance to be Fit focused on the importance of establishing a sleep routine to benefit your sleep routine . Given that I've had 20 hours sleep in 5 days, it seems especially topical. :)

As posted on June 18, 2008:

By now, most of are aware of the studies that show a correlation between getting proper sleep and successful weight loss. I don't know about you, but I took to my bed for a week after I first read about it. Nothing happened. Apparently it works best in conjunction with proper diet and exercise. (There's always #$@&$ fine print, isn't there?)

When I first started reading about this notion of sleep as a weight loss aid (and if you haven't read up on it, click on the link in the previous paragraph—it's interesting!), I decided to add improved sleep habits to my fitness repertoire, at least on weekdays. No more getting started on some writing project at 10:00 p.m., no laundry at 11:00 p.m., no midnight chats with friends—oh wait, I still do that on occasion. (West coast friends, you know…)

It's not as easy as setting an alarm to go to sleep. I can't just stop in the middle of an email, get in bed, and fall asleep within minutes. Unless, of course, I haven't been getting proper amounts of sleep for the previous days, and then I've been known to fall asleep on the way TO the bed.

No, for me it's a transitional thing. My mind and body need time to adjust to the new event. First, we were up and moving around for 16-17 hours, now we're going to be still and horizontal for 7 or 8 hours. I have to go through the routine of shutting down all my systems, so to speak, and getting ready for bed. A bedtime routine does that for me.

I've sought out various tips and tricks over the past months, and I'll share some of them here, just in case they may be helpful to anyone else who needs to improve their sleep habits.

- Take a warm bath just before bedtime. The drop in body temperature may send a message to your brain that sleep is needed. Using aromatherapy products (I like lavender anything!) via bath oils or scented candles will improve the effects. This is also a good time to brush your teeth, moisturize, wonder if you have any clean clothes for the next day, etc. All signals to your mind and body that bedtime is imminent.

- Complete some gentle stretches, breathing exercises, or meditation to calm your mind and body. My favorite is to breathe slowly, counting backward from 60, inhaling on the even numbers and exhaling on the odd numbers. (I 'm usually asleep before I reach 30. *g*)

- Going against some popular weight loss advice, I find that a light snack close to bedtime helps me sleep better. A couple of slices of cold pizza and a short beer
will usually have me snoozing—gotcha! I'm kidding, of course. I usually have a small piece of low-fat cheese or a container of Dannon Light n' Fit yogurt (vanilla, if you were wondering). I think the reason I've made a habit of dairy or soy products as a bedtime snack is that they contain tryptophan which can make you feel quite sleepy. (Think about the glass of warm milk concept.) I don't drink hot tea, but I have it on good authority that a pre-bedtime cuppa is also a wonder worker.

- Avoid activities that stimulate the brain or body just before bedtime: email, computer games, physical exercise, caffeine, horror or action movies, spicy foods, etc. (You'll note the absence of sex on the list of stimulants to avoid. It is, of course, an exception. So go forth and stimulate with glee.)

- Go to bed at the same time every night. This is easier for those of us who don't have kids, I think. And don't care if there are dirty dishes in the sink and/or a load of laundry still to be done.

- If you've done all of these things and sleep still doesn't happen, it's best to get up and go into another room until you're ready to try again. Reading a book or listening to soft music might just help! (I would suggest reading my past blog entries as a sleep inducer, but getting on the computer isn't advisable as a pre-bedtime activity.*g*)

Establishing a bedtime routine that promotes deep, restful sleep isn't accomplished with a snap of the fingers. It takes a little practice. But it's well worth the effort! We'll be more mentally and physically alert, and better able to withstand the temptation to choose the wrong foods or tank the exercise in favor of the sofa.

How do you ensure you're getting proper rest? Do you have a bedtime ritual? Feel free to share….

And back to the present...I've taken few photos of Las Vegas, but I hope to get a few tomorrow. On Tuesday, it's on to Marina Del Rey, CA and then San Francisco later in the week. Photos will follow in the days ahead.

Needless to say, my RSS feeds are a teensy bit backed up. I apologize. I hope you're all doing well, and I'm very much looking forward to catching up with your worlds!
(photo by striatic)
~

Makeover Monday Redux: Heads, We Win!

Just like the Hollywood set when they take a vacation, I'm airing a re-run this week. I was prompted to do it when my stylist suggested I increase my scalp massage to improve the blood flow to my scalp and improve the hair regrowth necessary after my bout of alopecia. I remembered posting about scalp massage before and figured there's no time like the present to share the info again.

From June 8, 2008: Heads, We Win!

A few weeks ago, our Monday Makeover focused on feet. This week we'll move all the way up to the tippy tops of our heads and pay a little special attention to our scalps.

I don't know about you folks, but my scalp hasn't seen so much sunshine and sweat in years and years. Working up said sweat six days a week means that I'm shampooing and conditioning more than ever. Plus, having lost a significant amount of weight, my hair has "thinned" (my stylist's term), which is not unexpected and not irreversible. Between the exercise and the weight loss, my scalp must be very confused. It deserves a good pampering.

Massage is a good place to start with the scalp TLC. It stimulates blood flow which will help feed the hair follicles. This will help to prevent and fight thinning such as I've experienced and reestablish the natural development of healthy hair. Not to mention that it's very calming and relaxing.

Scalp massage is easy AND you can do it yourself, even while shampooing if you wish:

1. Starting on your forehead, move the pads of your fingers in a
circular motion all along the arteries in the front, side, and back of the head.
2. Take a moment to continue those circular movements along the tendons on
the back of the neck. Ahhhhh.
3. Work your circles back up toward the top of the head.
4. Continue the pattern for about five minutes.

To be most effective, scalp massage should be done twice daily, morning and evening. (Oh goodie, a new habit to build!)

More kindnesses for your scalp:
Avoid using blow dryers too close to your scalp and hair. Too much heat isn't good for either one.

Avoid getting hair products (conditioners, styling gels and sprays) directly on the scalp as this can clog your hair follicles.

As with your skin, avoid over-exposing your hair and scalp to the wind and sun.

After swimming, shampoo your hair as soon as possible to remove any chlorine residue. Chlorine is extremely damaging to the hair and scalp.

Avoid tight hats and caps as they contribute to poor circulation, depriving the hair of proper nutrition.

Speaking of nutrition, avoid "crash and fad" diets. (As if I needed to tell you all that.) Proper nutrition is a key factor for healthy hair and skin.

~

And that's that! Not a lot of work but a pretty nice payoff. Your scalp and your hair will thank you for it.

I hope you all have a healthy, happy week!

~

Makeover Monday: Use This, Not That

While my interest in cooking remains in the not to mildly range, I've been collecting tips on how to make home-cooked dishes healthier and to reduce the calories involved, where possible. Most of the general guidelines I've learned are probably common knowledge among you cooking types, and I'll hope you'll share the results of your experiences with us in the comments. I share my notes here, primarily to get them recorded in one central place for my own future experimentation.

Sugar - Many recipes can tolerate a sugar reduction of 1/3 to 1/2. As I understand it, for cookies and cakes and such, you can replace the sugar you're omitting with nonfat dry milk to preserve the richness. Not only would that reduce calories, it would add protein, calcium, phosphorous, potassium, and other vitamins and minerals. Or you could double the amount of vanilla to increase the sweet taste without adding calories. Dried fruits (raisins, dates, or apricots) are also good choices to replace the omitted sugar.

Flour - You can add fiber to recipes by replacing 1/4 to 1/2 of all-purpose flour with whole wheat flour, oat bran, or ground oatmeal.

Fat - Apparently, many recipes are still quite tasty even if 1/3 of the fat is eliminated. For substitution, an equal amount of applesauce or plain, non-fat yogurt can be used. This will create extra moisture, so any liquids called for may need to be reduced. For flavorful fat substitutions , try substituting pureed prunes, pureed pumpkin, or grated zucchini for the omitted fat. You can also substitute 2 egg whites for 1 whole egg to reduce saturated fat.

Salt - While some recipes (yeast breads, rolls) need salt for texture and taste, other recipes can have the salt omitted or reduced substantially, and replaced with herbs and spices.

Obviously, these are just a few of the basics, and I'm sure there's sometimes a trade-off in taste or consistency. I'm sure there's also a lot of "tinkering" that goes on to find the right combination. I hear this is fun. :)

In cooking, as in life, there are all sorts of exchanges and trades that can be made. Cook's Thesaurus has an impressive list of substitutions. Fabulous Foods has some great suggestions for reducing fat content of recipes. HeartHealthyLiving magazine has an online slide show with good substitutions for common ingredients. And perhaps the most ambitious of all, VegetarianTimes has an awesome list of substitutions for meat ingredients.

With that, I'll pass the microphones to you all. Have you tried any of the substitutions described here? Do you have any other substitutions to share? Altered recipes you think the rest of us need to know about?

I'm looking forward to trying new, healthier recipes this winter. I'll never make "foodie" status, but it should be fun playing around with favorite older recipes. It will be my mission in life to come up with a healthier version of Rotel Cheese Dip. Holiday parties just aren't the same without it. :)

Makeover Monday: The Longest Stride

I'm in a strange-but-neat place these days. Having lost my excess weight and my job in such a relatively short time span has left me wide open for chasing new adventures. I'm feeling bold and confident and excited...and scared "spit-less", as we say in polite company. I'm learning new things every day, about myself and the world around me. Now, poised for flight, I'm faced with a simple and inescapable truth: Beginnings are hard. So hard that it sometimes seems preferable to stick right where you are. Taking the first step toward any goal or dream is exciting, but it can also cause feelings of fear, uncertainty, and/or dread, among others. Or maybe it's just me.

"The first step you take is the longest stride."
Nickelback, If Today Was Your Last Day

So how do we get ourselves to the point of taking that first step, not with a sense of doom or dread, but with a sense of excitement and anticipation?

1. Identify clearly the goal/dream you are pursuing. Although he gets on my last nerve much of the time, Dr. Phil got it right when he advised, "You have to name it to claim it." (Life Strategies, 1999) Know exactly what it is you want, this object of your desire. Visualize it. Write it down. Be as specific as possible.

2. Breathe it. Quality management guru Peter F. Drucker said, "Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans." If we don't fully commit ourselves to a thing, we'll do it when it's convenient or easy or the third Tuesday of every other month.

3. Define small steps. C'mon, you knew I was going to work this in here somewhere, especially when it fits so beautifully! Many of us know that we're more likely to get to the top of the mountain via a series of small stepping stones, as opposed to trying to climb over a boulder.

4. Expect difficulties. Be prepared for roadblocks and obstacles, many of which you will create for yourself. Knowing how to harness your strengths and overcome your weaknesses will help see you through the rough spots.

5. Take the first step. You're ready for it!

It doesn't matter whether your goal is to become more fit, write a book, start a business, remodel your house (these all sound very familiar to me), or {insert your goal here}, taking some time to define the goal, commit to it, identify stepping stones to achieve it, and anticipate the roadblocks before you take the first step, will help you get off to a strong start!

As always, your thoughts, comments, and ideas are welcome!

Makeover Monday: Back Away from the Computer

I've been spending less time online these days. That has both a downside and an upside. Down, in that I don't get to read as many blogs as I'd like or participate in some of my writers' discussion groups, but the upside is that I'm getting lots of other things done, some that are long overdue and others that are new explorations.

Consciously deciding to spend less time online isn't a simple matter of Just Do It. Or Just Don't Do It, in this case. Face it, blogging and tweeting and surfing are fun! I have no intentions of eliminating the blogging interaction. That would be like giving up cake! And probably more difficult. I love interacting in my various communities and exploring new ones. I get most of my daily news from online sources and enjoy researching the most interesting stories. And don't get me started on how much I enjoy online window shopping. :) Still, while I enjoy all of those things immensely, I can't put LIFE on hold while I play or procrastinate.

Okay, so getting from there to here is still a work in progress, but I'll share what's working so far. Just in case you might be concerned about the amount of time you spend online! :)


Tippy Toe Tools for Managing Online Time

1. Plan how much time you will spend online each day based on the items on your To-Do list that need to get done. (I use the MIT method, as described and credited in an earlier Makeover Monday post.) For example: Keeping up with email is important to me, so I allot 30 minutes each day for it in three 10-minute segments spread throughout the day. Most days, that's enough to handle the critical items. Some days I even have time for checking out some of the fun stuff, too. :)
2. Make a separate list of the things you want to do online each day and prioritize it. As tasks are crossed off the MIT list, reward yourself with a few minutes spent on the first item on the "want" list. For me, that's almost always reading other people's blogs.
3. Use a stopwatch or timer to monitor the amount of time you're spending online. I use the timer on my iPhone, which has an audible alarm when time runs out. A kitchen timer works just as well. Tip: leave the alarm across the room to avoid the shut-off-alarm-and-keep-right-on-surfing risk. I lied to myself one too many times with the "just two more minutes" promise.
4. Use physical deterrents to avoid plopping down at the computer "for just a second or two" as you pass it. (Big problem for yours truly.) If I'm working around the house, I shut the office door as a reminder that I have other things to do right then. If I'm working on the computer in Word or Excel, I shut down my Firefox connection. When I come across something that requires a quick look-up or verification, I mark it as "Look-up later" and keep right on going with the project at hand.
5. Reward yourself for your successes. Set aside a block of time for unlimited surfing and playing. Grant yourself credits for "free" iTunes downloads. Go for some TCBY peanut butter frozen yogurt. I'm sure you'll think of something. :)

I'm super envious of those who can take care of all their to-do's AND still have time for blogging, Tweeting, and general surfing pleasures. I tried, but I've come to the conclusion that that's a talent I just don't have. The good news is that I am perfectly okay that way. :)

Am I the only one with online time management problems? No? Yes? Any tips or tricks you have for managing your online time will be appreciated.

For now, my break time is over, and I'm off to test paint the bathroom vanity. I'll be reading your blogs while I wait for the paint to dry. :)

Makeover Monday: Fear-fightin' Tool Kit

Fear has had too strong a role in my life for far too long. The fears change as life changes, but it seems there's always something out there causing me to be feel some degree of fear. I'm working on it, day by day, and in the past couple of years, I've made pretty good progress.

One thing I'm not afraid of is...being afraid. Fear isn't always a bad thing. It can keep us out of trouble and maybe even save our lives. The trick is to distinguish those fears that are reality-based from those that exist mostly in our imaginations. For example, my fear of jumping out of an airplane with (or without) a parachute is probably a good kind of fear to have. This kind of fear would dictate that I spend a bit of time learning how to safely jump out of a plane, and then even more time carefully inspecting the parachute.

Being afraid to join a gym for fear that I might look silly is not particularly useful or reality-based. It exists in my imagination only. In a risk-benefit equation, the benefit is clear, and the risks can be overcome. Here are a few pieces of ammunition:

Fear-fightin' Tool Kit
1) Acknowledge your fear. Admitting you're afraid is nothing to be ashamed of; in fact, the opposite is true. Examining your thoughts and actions (or lack thereof) and identifying those that are fear-driven is a very brave thing to do. You should feel proud!

2) Talk about it. Giving voice to your fear is a great first step to exerting control over it. Talk it out with a friend or family member, or seek out the assistance of someone you know has overcome your particular fear.

3) Write it down. Whether it's on paper or in a blog post, sometimes it helps to see something in print. We notice patterns in thought that we hadn't seen before. Or even better, the act of writing unleashes some lurking thought we didn't know was there.

4) Take small steps. Y'all know I'm all about the small steps! They ease us through difficult transitions and help us build a platform of successes.

5) Get creative. There's no textbook plan for overcoming fear. That's good news, because it leaves the solutions entirely up to us. We can set our own schedules and determine our own timetables. And we can adjust as necessary. We can build our own plans, or adopt someone else's. One of the fear-fighting tips I've found most useful is one recommended by the illustrious Martha Beck, who asks clients to name their fears (their "inner lizards", she calls them, referring to the reptilian basis of our fears) and to even go so far as to get a physical object representing the lizard. (I think the theory is that it always helps to put a face with a name.) Anyway, I loved the idea, and it is with great pleasure that I introduce you to Lulu, my lizard, from her perch on my computer monitor:

Whatever you do, do NOT tell her she's not really a lizard or that's she's not particularly frightening. The fact is that she was in a dollar bin at Target, and she looked kind of cute. I also liked the fact that she's a dinosaur, because I want to send some of the fears that hold me back into extinction. (But not Lulu. She's with me for the long haul.)

6) Accept imperfection. We don't have to get it 100% right 100% of the time. Good thing, too, because that's impossible. We are not perfect beings. In fact, the beauty of any transformation is in the process--learning from mistakes, building on successes, experiencing the joy of self-discovery. One of my favorite quotes (source unknown) advises,

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic."

Whatever you do, don't let a fear of failure stop you from following your dreams. These people didn't:


Using one or more of these tools to fight your fears may be just the boost you need to move forward. It's my greatest wish for you...and for me!

Happy Monday to all!

Makeover Monday: Don't Believe Everything You Think

One of the greatest compliments I receive isn't related to my new weight or size at all. It has more to do with my attitude, which is largely positive and hopeful these days. Not that it's always been that way, nor is it always that way now. But I've come a long way in learning how to manage my thoughts in a positive way.

The first problem with thoughts is that it's so easy to have them. In fact, it's damn near impossible NOT to have them. Have you ever tried that? NOT thinking? I can't do it, even with meditation. Or even medication. But I digress.

The second problem with thoughts is that we frequently accept them as gospel and then let them become our reality. That old self-fulfilling prophecy at work, which is too bad because many times our thoughts are simply automatic reactions in the face of fear or challenge or change--any situation to which we're conditioned to shy away from. In and of themselves, these thoughts aren't much of a problem, other than a waste of time, but if we accept them as truth and let them direct our future, then our thoughts are controlling us and prescribing our destiny. And that's not what we want, is it?

In in his book Healing ADD: The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD, author Daniel G. Amen, MD describes some of the reasons we can't always believe what we think. He calls these thoughts ANTS, Automatic Negative Thoughts, and likens them to ants on a picnic. One isn't a problem, two is merely an irritant, but many more than that and your picnic is ruined.

I'm listing Dr. Amen's ANTS below, with his words in bold (red text reflects the dreaded red ants, the worst ants of all!) My weight-centric comments are in regular old ordinary font, as befits my non-MD, non-author status. As a disclaimer, I will go ahead and confess to you now that I am currently or have been in the past guilty of ALL of these behaviors.

9 Ways Our Thoughts Lie to Us
1. "All or nothing" - We tend to see ourselves as 100% successful or total failures. It's all good or all bad. I've done it, and I've seen some of you do it, too. A person has a good week with exercise and nutrition, but because they ate a donut on Saturday, the week was a complete flop. Not even close to the truth.

2. "Always" thinking - I always mess up. I always give in. Ever had those thoughts? I go so far as to include "Never" thinking in here as well. I never stick with it. We need to challenge those thoughts, because they simply aren't true. Even if the successes were short-lived, they still happened. I'm not the only one who can now testify that history doesn't have to repeat itself, especially if it's revisionist history to begin with.

3. Focusing on the negative - Some of us have a tendency to see only the bad and forget (even if temporarily) the good. In giving up some of my favorite foods to become healthier, I sometimes had to fight off the "It's not fair (bad) that I have to do this" thinking. I did it by arguing back to myself, "No, it's not fair, but I'll benefit more by doing it this way." I trumped a bad with a good.

4. Fortune-telling - Trying to predict the worst possible outcome to a situation used to be one of my worst habits. I've seen other folks doing this as well. We have a social gathering to attend, and we automatically "know" we're going to go way off our eating plans. We make it a fact before it ever occurs. A good way around it is to visualize yourself being successful. As Dr. Amen wrote, "If you're going to try to predict the future, why not predict the best?"

5. Mind Reading - In addition to fortune telling, we're also capable of mind reading. Or think we are. We never really know what other people are thinking, so it's futile to base our behaviors on what WE think others are thinking about us.

6. Thinking with your feelings - Feelings can lie to us, too. We should look for evidence to support a feeling before letting it take hold in our thoughts and become our reality.

7. Guilt beatings - Should. Must. Have to. Words guaranteed to make us want to run the other direction, which often leads to feelings of failure. One way to combat guilt is to change our language. For example, I must exercise today becomes I want to exercise today. I have to eat tuna again today might be more tolerable as Eating tuna again will give me the protein boost I need. Silly? Possibly. Effective? Definitely.

8. Labeling - If you're reading (or writing) this blog, chances are slim you haven't labeled yourself negatively in some way. Fat. Lazy. Stupid. Those are just a few that come to mind. As a success strategy, it's not really very effective.

9. Blaming - Dr. Amen refers to blaming as "the most poisonous red ant of all" and I agree. I've blamed family members for nutritional sabotage, even though I was the one holding the fork. I've blamed finances for a lack of exercise, even though walking around the block was F-R-E-E. Blaming other people takes our power to change anything.


I still have my moments (hours/days) when I struggle to fight off one or more ANTS. I'll continue to have these times in the future. You know, with me being human and all. But by recognizing ANTS for what they are and fighting past them, I'm able to remove unreasonable obstacles in my path. You can, too, and here are a few pieces of ammunition:
- teach yourself to recognize your ANT demons
- write them down
- talk back to them
- argue them into a corner
- squash them like the bugs they are


As I wrote earlier, I am or have been guilty of all of these at one time or another. What are the ANTS you have to deal with? How do you do it? What, if anything, will you change in the future?

Makeover Monday: To Insure Proper Service

Makeover Monday topics cover a wide field and are generally not related to exercise or weight loss. I believe that many of us can benefit from focusing on the non-physical “big picture,” whether that’s related to emotional health, financial stability, intellectual curiosity, or even personal care. One area I don’t focus on nearly enough is the topic of making ourselves feel better by making others feel better about themselves or their contributions to the planet. Today’s post is my small attempt to remedy that.

I went to dinner with a large group recently and saw something that made my jaw drop. We were a group of 22 people with 22 checks (every restaurant’s dream group) and we had amazing service. Seriously amazing. It was a locally-owned, casual-type place, and when we received our checks, several of us commented that the restaurant had NOT included the normal “large party” automatic gratuity. We made sure that everyone else noticed that too.

Imagine my surprise when one of the women left a $1 tip on a $15-20 check. Apparently one of her table neighbors mentioned that the check didn’t have the gratuity included, and the $1 lady responded, “Oh, I know. I never tip more than $1. I’d never be able to eat out if I tipped more than that.”

My response (silent, of course, since I was a guest of the group) was that she shouldn’t eat meals out then. My physical response (and that of a couple of people seated near me) was to add a little extra to our tips to compensate.

Tips aren’t a requirement for any profession, but quite a few jobs have pay structures that factor in tips as part of income. This can result in an hourly pay rate well below minimum wage in some job. For example, according to payscale.com, wait staff depend on tips for up to two-thirds of their incomes, and bartenders aren’t far behind at 60% tip-dependent incomes. The pizza delivery guy is counting on 40% of his income from tips. Your hairstylist earns 26% of her income in tips. And we can rest assured that none of these incomes are likely to land these folks anywhere near a Forbes Top-Whatever List.

With all that in mind, I figured it couldn’t hurt to post a listing of commonly used services and the suggested tipping guidelines for each. These are, of course, based on US customs. Check out tipping.org for a comprehensive listing of US and international guidelines by country. CCRA Travel Solutions provides another good resource. And of course there’s always Emily Post.


Generally Accepted Tipping Guidelines

Dining out:
Wait staff (full service) - 15-20% pre-tax
Wait service (buffet) - 5-10% of bill. At least $1 per person.
Sommelier – 15-20% of total cost of wine
Bartender $1 per drink or 15-20% or tab
Tip jars - No obligation, but you might want to tip occasionally if you are a regular or if the person went above normal service. (I don’t generally do this, but for a few of my regular haunts, I’ll drop in my change.)
Restroom Attendant $0.50-$3, depending on service
Valet $2-$5 (in addition to any valet fee)
Coat check attendant- $1

Dining in:
Take Out - No obligation, but up to 10% if the person went above normal service
Delivery drivers - 10-15% (delivery charges usually go to the restaurant/business)

On the road:
Skycap - $2 first bag, $1 per additional bag
Doorman - $1-$2 for carrying luggage, $1-$2 for hailing cab, $1-$4 beyond the call of duty
Bellhop - $2 first bag, $1 per additional bag
Housekeeper - $2-$5 per day, left daily (I’m soooo guilty of not having small bills and rather than going downstairs and getting it, I leave the tip on the next day.)
Room Service - 15-20% of total bill
Concierge - $5 for tickets or reservations, $10 if hard to get; no need to tip for answering questions
Taxi driver - 15% plus an extra $1-$2 if helped with bags
Tour guides - $5-10 for ½ day

Vanity tipping:
Hair Dresser - 15-20%, ask to be split among those who served you
Manicurist - 15-20%
Facial, waxing, massage - 15-20%
Shoe shine- $2
Tattoo or piercing artist - 10-20 percent

A few others:
Barista - $1
Car detailer - 15 percent
Car washer - $2-3 for a car; $3-5 for an SUV or truck
Emergency locksmith - $5
Flowers - $1 to $10, depending on the size of the arrangement.
Furniture or appliance delivery person - $5-10
Pet groomer - 15 percent
Pet sitter - 15 percent
Tire changer - $4 - $5
Tow truck driver - $5

For other services, it is more customary to tip annually. An amount equal to a week’s pay for those you employ (baby sitter or regular cleaning service) is a good amount, and $15 to $25 is usually a good amount to offer those whose services you use without compensation (mail carrier, newspaper deliveries. )

Side story #1: I don't remember where I first heard this tip on tipping, but I thought it was a good idea then and now. Given that service staff probably need their incomes just for survival, consider double-tipping between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It could add a lot to their holiday experience, not to mention a real boost for those with kids. Plus, it just feels so darned good!

Side story #2:
Many years ago while on assignment in New York, I attended a Mets game at Shea Stadium. When we showed the usher our tickets, he escorted us to our seats and wiped them down with a chamois cloth (even though they didn’t need it), before stepping to the side. I noticed he kept standing there while we got settled, but being the sometimes-clueless hillbilly that I am, I didn’t think much about it. He eventually stomped off.

A few minutes later, he went through the same routine with another group of guests and I saw the gratuity passed along. Ah, I understood then. So the next time he came by, I stopped him and gave him a couple of dollars, explaining that I didn’t realize tipping was customary for ushers. In my defense, in Memphis in those days, ushers generally looked at your ticket and pointed in the general direction of your seats. They only went to the actual seat if there was a discrepancy.

I share that not just to show my ignorant ways, but to point out that it's always a good idea to pay attention to the happenings around us for clues and cues on tipping customs. :)

I've always been a pretty good tipper, but perhaps being "on my own" has made me more acutely aware that many people (and their families) are living on very little income and that in some of those cases, such as those described above, I truly can make a big difference even if it's just a dollar here and there.

As always, I turn it over to you guys. Any tipping tips from you? Or an embarrassing tipping story to rival mine? Please share in the comments.

Makeover Monday: Timing Is Everything

For 30+ years, the order of my day was largely determined by my work schedule, but now that I'm on my own (doesn't that sound so much nicer than unemployed?), I have the opportunity to tinker with my schedule and with any luck, to maximize it so that I'm getting the right things done at the right time.

Luck did indeed smile on me on Saturday when I found a nifty little article in an old copy (October 2004) of Real Simple magazine. Entitled "Beat the Clock" and written by Leslie Yazel, this article used the science of our natural body rhythms (a.k.a. chronobiology) and tips from experts in other fields to present the best times of day to do a variety of tasks. I'm all for that! I'm also all for sharing, so if you're interested in optimizing your time, read on and enjoy!

I know that circadian rhythms (our internal clocks) have a lot to do with our energy levels, which have natural dips and rises throughout the day. Something about melatonin secretion based on messages our eyes send to the hypothalamus region of our brains. (That's possibly an overlsimplification version of a very complicated event. It's also possibly wrong. I don't do science very well.)

Other factors influencing our natural rhythms: social environment, medications (including the best drug of all--caffeine!), work schedules, physical condition, travel schedules, and so on.


Best Times of Day to...
Links to various books included, but I have no affiliation with any of the vendors.

Clean the House - According to Michael Smolensky, author of The Body Clock Guide to Better Health, 4 p.m. is the best time to clean house. Our hand-eye coordination is at its best and our mood levels high during this period.

Take a Nap - Aforementioned author Smolensky also theorizes that a nap is most beneficial somewhere in the 1 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. range, with a maximum naptime of 30 minutes. Our body temperatures naturally dip during those hours (similar to the way they dip at bedtime), which is why we're often sleepy after lunch. (Huh. For years, turkey on wheat has taken the rap.) For more info on nap optimization, check out this previous Makeover Monday post.

Take a Multivitamin - If you supplement your nutrition with daily vitamins, you should be taking them with breakfast for better absorption, according to Shari Lieberman, nutritional scientist and author of The Real Vitamin and Mineral Book. Certain nutrients, like vitamin B, can interfere with sleep, so dinnertime is definitely not the optimum time to take your vitamins.

Do Your Cardio Workout - Lots of theories out there about this one. I'm a fan of the "When can you do it? Okay, that's the best time!" school of thought. Matthew Edlun, M.D., author of The Body Clock Advantage, recommends the 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. time frame. His reasoning is that our lungs use oxygen more efficiently, our coordination is better, and our muscles are warmed from our daily activities. The extra adrenaline that exercise brings {pause for moment of gratitude} can be handled by completing our workouts at least 3 hours before bed.

I can personally attest to another benefit to working out later in the day: stress reduction. When I worked for The Man, I scheduled my workouts immediately after my workday ended. Not only was it a nice exclamation point on the end of a healthy day, I could also exorcise any lingering workday demons. (You don't know fun until you picture some workplace bozo's face on the bottom of your shoe and then head out for a walk. Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!)


Okay, so those are a few suggestions based on "body clock." There are other best times that are influenced by external events:

More Best Times to...

Return Merchandise to a Store - I knew this one already! The best time to make returns is in the first hour of the store's opening. Staff is usually at its assigned post and typically, the staff working daytime hours are those with more experienced (gotta love seniority!)

Go to the Doctor - Most of us know this one already, I think. You'll clock less waiting room time if you book the first appointment of the day or the first one after lunch. Exceptions to this occur if your doctor is a surgeon or makes hospital rounds prior to office hours.

Get Your Hair Cut - As with the doctor's visit, early morning and just after lunch are the best times to see your stylist. The reasoning is similar, only surgery is replaced by a weave/cut combo. It's also possible that your cut might turn out better, too, since the stylist's stress level should be lower in the a.m. You could also simply ask your stylist what's his/her favorite time of day for cutting hair. Then schedule your appointments for that time.

Go to the Post Office - The midmorning lull, which usually occurs a half hour to an hour after the office opening, is the best time to avoid lines. Or you can do like me and use the automated postal terminals available at many U.S. post office locations. I also go online for things like putting mail service on hold.


And there you have it. Some science, some practicality, possibly some luck. These suggestions might be accurate; then again, maybe not. But it could be fun to experiment a bit, knowing that your mileage may vary.

Got any tips of your own to share? Please do!

Thanks for stopping by this week! I'm off to maximize my day by experimenting with some of these suggestions! :)

Makeover Monday: The Hair Up There

Due to comments (pleadings?) made after last Monday’s post, we interrupt our previously scheduled Makeover Monday to bring you this hot topic: excess facial hair on women. It’s a condition many of us suffer, but not many of us talk about. Many of the guys, and possible a few of the women, who read here are wondering what’s the big deal. Well, if you’re a woman with whiskers, it IS a big deal—a big, fat, hairy deal.

This is an unbelievably long post, so if you’re not interested in the topic, I’ll pause here to thank you for stopping by. I hope you’ll stop by again next week! Continuing on, for the interested…

I’ll start with the usual caveat that I am not a licensed…anything. You would be far better served to discuss any issues you have with excess facial hair (real or imagined) with a dermatologist or licensed cosmetician. My knowledge comes only from my explorations in how to deal with my problems in this area. But feel free to tell them Cammy sent you. Maybe you’ll get a discount. :)

There are basically two types of body hair: vellus, which is the fine, thin hair we have all over our bodies. It’s purpose is to protect our sensitive skin, as well as to help regulate body temperature. The hormonal wallop of puberty usually causes some of these fine hairs to turn darker and coarser. These hairs are referred to as terminal. Their purpose is to irritate and embarrass those of us of the female persuasion and to look danged sexy on the males among us. (The same males who sneeze and lose 8 pounds. Grrr.) The amount of terminal hair we have is partially dictated by heredity and then influenced by hormonal changes or medical conditions. (See aforementioned referral to medical professional.)

When I was in my late 20s, two individual dark hairs popped out on my chin. I was amused and even chuckled as I plucked them out. Problem resolved.

As I entered by 30s, two chinny hairs had tripled into a half dozen or so, sprinkled all along my jaw. Still within manageable plucking capacity. No sweat.

Mid-30s: The Hair Explosion Years. Hair was suddenly everywhere--on my chin, my neck, my jaw, and even on my upper lip. I wasn’t quite a candidate for a circus show, but I sure felt like it. My self-esteem (always a little on the rocky side) plummeted. I was certain everyone I saw was one wrist-flick away from pointing and yelling, “Oh my God, would you look at that!” The fact that none of these people ever did that, or even appeared to notice my presence, I attributed to extremely fine acting abilities on their parts.

Anyway, it became clear that the plucking method of facial hair “management” wasn’t going to cut it anymore, and I began to explore other possibilities. There were many—some pricey, some relatively inexpensive. I’ll share all the ones I know about and give you my opinion on those I tried. (Some of these will sound familiar as they were also included on last week’s post on the hair down there.)

Methods of Controlling Excess Facial Hair

Doing Nothing - You may decide that the 100% natural way is the one for you, and there is nothing wrong with that. Customs, styles, and societal expectations are changed by people like you. Pat yourself on the back for accepting yourself just as you are! I, for one, admire the hell out of you for being the trendsetter I'm not, and you won't catch me questioning your choice.

Tweezing – Simple, inexpensive, and the best solution if you have the odd hair here or there. Re-growth can take several days to several weeks.

Shaving – Simple, inexpensive, and painless, but if you have a lot of facial hair, shaving is not without a few cons. Since shaving doesn’t address the hair below the skin, re-growth generally occurs in 12-24 hours in the form of dark stubble. Shaving can cause skin irritation (razor burn) and depending on the shaving method you choose—wet or dry—nicks, cuts, and ingrown hairs are a few of the possible results.

Bleaching – There are a variety of creams on the market that will lighten unwanted facial hair. The ones I tried weren’t expensive and they worked really well on the upper lip, but not so much on the underside of my neck. (I have issues with being still.) I also wasn’t comfortable with putting such harsh chemicals on my face. There may be newer, less harsh products on the market today. Keep in mind that the amount of lightening depends on the color and texture of your hair. You could end up with an orange mustache instead of a brunette one.

Depilatories – These are chemical mixtures that effectively melt the keratin in the hair shaft, allowing the hair to fall out. I’ve never used one on my face due to the caustic, chemical-ly smells.

Waxing/Sugaring – I forgot to include sugaring last week, but it’s the same basic premise as waxing. Both techniques involve applying a layer of “sticky stuff” to the skin (cold or hot wax for waxing, or a paste of sugar, lemon, and water for sugaring), followed by the application of strips of cloth, and then the ripping out by the root of the offensive hairs. Hairs, plural. All at once. If you have trouble with tweezing pain, I’m thinking this would not be the option for you.

In all seriousness, the only waxing I’ve had done is the eyebrow area, and it does hurt for a couple of minutes. I’m also red in that area for a few hours after application. But then I’m done for a couple of months. Re-growth varies, anywhere from a few weeks to two months, and the hair is usually finer.

As mentioned last week, waxing and sugaring can be done at home relatively inexpensively, but this is one of those areas where it might be more prudent to seek out a professional. Wax can actually take off skin along with the hair (yikes!) if not done correctly, and sugaring can cause bruising.

Another important note about waxing/sugaring if you are using, or have recently used , Acutane or products containing Retin-A. These products contain chemicals that cause thinning of the skin, and waxing or sugaring could cause permanent damage to the skin.

Electrolysis – Another fun-filled hair-removal technique. As discussed last week, electrolysis involves inserting an electrified needle into the hair follicle and shocking the hair out. Well, that’s how I think of it, anyway. I’m sure there’s a more technical explanation of it.

I used electrolysis for almost a year. While it wasn’t cheap, it was affordable and while there was some pain, it wasn’t horrible. I stopped when it seemed as though I wasn’t having lasting results. Plus, the procedure sometimes caused a few blisters.

I’ve seen some “home electrolysis” gizmos on the store shelves and on Amazon, but it really doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. Definitely better to seek a professional on this one.


Laser Hair Removal – The Big Kahuna of hair removal and the only method that yielded long-term (though not 100% completely successful) results for me. Basically, this process involves using intense light pulses to attack the melanin in the hair shaft. In its early days, the process wasn’t useful for people who also had an abundance of melanin in their skin, because the lasers didn’t know the difference between the two and spotting occurred. Technology has changed, though, and the lasers are smarter. In fact, there has been some progress in laser technology with respect to light-colored hair. For those of us with a generous amount of vellus, this is promising.

For more information on laser hair removal, here’s a good article on the American Academy of Dermatology website.

There are other methods of hair removal, including threading and topical creams, but I have never checked into any of those. As I said earlier, if you have a significant amount of facial hair and that bothers you, your best bet is to make an appointment with a dermatologist.

As for me, the laser treatments eliminated most of the darker hair I had, but there are residuals. I manage those with this nifty device and my tweezers. Since I’m barreling toward menopause and even more hormonal shifts, I’ve started a savings fund for additional treatments if I need them.

Whatever your choice, keeping your sense of humor about it is the greatest treatment of all. There are many, many ways your life could be worse.

Okay, enough from me. The floor is open for your thoughts, comments, recommendations, etc. I ask only that you be polite. I'll pop into the comments if there's a need.

On a side note, thanks again for all the birthday wishes! It's a great one, so far! :)

Have a happy week!

What Next?

A two-for-one post, of sorts.

First, a big THANK YOU for your responses to yesterday's rather intimate Makeover Monday post. Some of you jumped right in with tips and suggestions, others abstained in a good-natured way (who knew we had so many horticulturalists?), and others couldn't reach their back buttons soon enough, no doubt. I appreciate ALL of you. Even you, anonymous commenter for whom I struck a negative nerve. (You point is well taken, even if your method of delivery kinda sucked.) The whole point of the post was to share information for people who might not be comfortable with their current state down there and want to know about options.

I knew before I posted the topic that not everyone would be comfortable reading it, but I did it anyway. As someone who came of age (and beyond) without many resources at hand for understanding all parts of her body, it's important to me to be open about such subjects, to learn and to share information, when possible. I do respect, however, that some folks aren't quite as open about these things. Rest assured that I will always try to give an introductory warning before posting such topics, in case you want to run for the hills. :)

Moving forward...I'm trying to figure out what my Next Big Thing will be. I'm not really *feeling* the gym right now, but these dog days of summer in Memphis are rather brutal for outdoor exercising. I'm thinking I may explore yoga/Pilate's classes, if I can find some affordable ones in the area. Until then, I'll keep to the current program.

I still haven't had a post-vacation weigh-in. I may do that tonight, or maybe tomorrow. My re-entry into TippyToesVille has gone relatively well. I've been trying to stay a few hundred calories under maintenance levels, but I suspect I've cut it close on a few days. That would be okay, though. The main goal is to eat healthy at or below maintenance level and to move, and I've been 100% on target with that.

I'm beginning to think I can live my whole life this way. Stick to The Plan most of the time, and let it out a little (or more than a little) on vacations and for special events, like my upcoming birthday. Then move right back to The Plan.

That's it for me today. Nothing particularly useful, I'm afraid. Maybe tomorrow. But don't worry; I'll stay above the waist for a while. :)

Makeover Monday: In the Pubic Interest

No, that’s not a typo. We’re going down there this week. Don't worry, we're staying in the outer regions, but if you’re not interested (as in you’ve already Lysoled your keyboard just from reading this far), feel free to bail out now.

I went through puberty in the early 70s (yes, they had puberty way back then), when the extent of education on pubic hygiene consisted of a 15-minute film shown one rainy day in 7th grade P.E. class. I don’t remember all the details of the film, but the primary message was to protect foreign invasion of my vulva (and beyond!) at all costs. Nary a word about pubic or genital grooming. Considering the sex-crazed audience, that might have been the wisest use of time, and to be fair, I don’t recall reading anything about taking care of down there in Cosmopolitan at the time, either. But then again, most of that reading was clandestine in nature and dependent upon my aunt leaving her copy where I could get my pudgy, inquisitive hands on it. Even then, I think the articles focused more on aroma than appearance.

I was well into adulthood before I learned about the wide variety of options available for changing the way down there looks. These days, I not only know the possibilities, I also know which celebrities choose which options. One I needed to know about, the other I could live without. I'll leave it to you to figure out which is which.

There are many pubic grooming options, and there's no One Right Way. Considerations include everything from time involved to pain involved to maintaining that 'fresh feeling' to enhancing your sexual arousal or that of your partner. Your pubes, your choice, but no matter which option you follow, it goes without saying that extra special care should be taken with these sensitive bits of our bodies.


Pubic Grooming Options


The Natural Way - Many people opt for leaving the pubic area as nature presented it and manage it with nothing more than a daily dose of soap (or shampoo/conditioner) and water and, perhaps, a comb.

Trimming (a.k.a. The Almost Natural Way)- Similar to the first option, but incorporates the use of a trim-style razor (no affiliation) and scissors to control the amount and length of hair and any "overflow."

Shaving- Some folks like to completely remove all or parts of their pubic hair. One method is shaving it, which is fairly quick and easy but does carry some risks, primarily razor burn and ingrown hairs. There are many products on the market to help this process along. HairCareDownThere (no affiliation) provides one such package. (If you don't already know this, note that hair regrowth begins right away and the process is sometimes itchy.)

Waxing - Again, this method can be used to remove all or parts of the pubic hair. You can do it at home with one of the many products (no affiliation) on the market, but it's probably better left to the professionals. You don't need to know which of these various options I choose, but you can rest assured that I would wear pubic hair down to my ankles before I would pull it out by its roots. To actually pay someone to do it for me is beyond comprehension to me. I don't care that this method results in a slower regrowth period or that there are fewer ingrown hairs. I don't like pain. :)

As for how much or how little hair to remove, in this or any method, there are as many choices as there are thoughts. Wikipedia has a decent article to use as a starting place, but be ye warned, it is NOT work safe as it is complete with photos. You can also click here for some design examples.

Tweezing - Certainly cheaper than waxing, but painful and very time consuming. I suppose it's good news that hair regrowth should be slower with this method than with shaving.

*Electrolysis - A needle is inserted near the hair follicle and a small electrical current "shocks" the hair root into surrender. Painful, time consuming, expensive, and permanent. Again, there are home products (no affiliation) available, but you're probably better off going to a professional.

*Laser hair removal - In this method, a light beam is pulsed over the hair follicle to disable it. Sessions are expensive and several are required to achieve full and permanent results.

*The word 'permanent' in the latter two options should be noted. Customs and preferences change over time, and you might want to give a thought or two to the future before opting for one of these.

These are just a few of the more common options available for a makeover down there. We'll leave jewelry, piercings, and tattoos 'til another day (or another blog), and we'll leave dyeing pubic hair out completely since there aren't any products on the market (that I could find) that are designed for this sensitive area.

I certainly hope today's topic doesn't crash web servers around the world as readers click their unsubscribe buttons at the same time. My intent, as always, was to share information and have some fun. Either or both is fine with me.

Our bodies are beautiful in all their shapes and sizes, and they deserve to have loving attention heaped upon them. Even down there.

Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead...

Makeover Monday: Keeping Your Cool

I'm still on the road but heading southward again. I visited friends in Grand Rapids, MI over the weekend and had a great time. That and the fun of BlogHer last weekend have left me feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. I hope it lasts for a while.

I'm normally a pretty easy-going and relaxed person, but I've been noticing lately that I'm quicker to anger these days. I suspect it's a little bit hormones and a little bit uncertainty over employment (or lack thereof.) It's not that I mind anger, if there's a reason for it. Or if it prompts me to take action for or against something. If I can USE it, somehow.

I don't like anger so much when it consumes my thoughts and controls my actions. When IT uses ME.

So I'm working on it. Which is why I was grateful to see these tips for staying cool from anger-management consultant Virginia Williams in this month's Reader's Digest:

1) "Recognize that anger is useful." I was hardly smug at all at already knowing that. As I said, anger can actually be a useful tool in promoting action. It's when it consumes or paralyzes us that it becomes a problem.

2) "Ask yourself if whatever made you angry is important." Okay, I knew about this one, too, but I haven't been practicing it. In my previous office, I used a Big Deal Scale, a simple 8x10 piece of paper with the numbers 0 through 10 in a horizontal line across the middle. When I came across a problem or a situation that made me angry or upset, I would rank it on the Big Deal Scale and rank the problem. Anything that fell below a 'five' got dropped. That left extra time to address the bigger numbers.



3) "Talk yourself down." Love this one. Basically the author suggests several possible interventions, or ways to stop the spiraling-out-of-control tendency:
- Yell Stop! to yourself (silently, she says, but I actually say it out loud)
- Distract yourself (e.g. get up and move, surf the internet planning a dream vacation)
- Breathe in, clench your fists, exhale, release your fists (tried it today and it's wonderful!)
Other possibilities are, of course, prayer and/or meditation.

Like many people, I've sometimes dealt with anger with a knife and fork, but these days my preferred tool is to get out and walk. Basically, I stomp out the anger. :)

How do you deal with anger? In a healthy way, that is. :)

Makeover Monday: Something New-to-You Week

Let's do something fun and simple this week, something new.

That's the whole thing. That's this week's Makeover Monday tip: Do something new to you this week.

Before you start shouting for refunds, consider two things:
1) I'm seriously sleep-deprived
2) This is free [insert adage about getting what you pay for here]

But also consider how much fun it is to try new things. The planning, the anticipating, the trying. Sometimes, if you're like me, the trying is followed by the laughing, but just as often, it's followed by the loving it. It doesn't really matter, because either way, we win.

I like the comfort of the familiar as much as the next person, but I also have a tendency to get a little stuck there. The familiar is usually easier and almost always safer. You can't fail if you don't try. What a horrible way to go through life and a reminder that on occasion, the trying is followed by the crying.

Years ago, I made a mistake at work (disclosure: it wasn't the only one) that resulted in 5 people having to stay late on the very night the Lakers and Celtics were playing Game 4 of the NBA championship. That bit of trivia stands out because one of the guys reminded me of it every few minutes.

As I sat there trying to recall if there was a nearby rock to crawl under, one of the managers of the group stopped by my desk and offered me a bit of wisdom that has stayed with me for all this time:

The only ones not making mistakes are the ones not doing anything.

I use that phrase a lot for inspiration for work, yet never thought about how it applies to this healthier living stuff until a few years ago. I realized that I wasn't even trying to address my weight and health because I was so afraid of failing again. So I didn't do anything.

But that was then. Now, I'm trying new things all the time.

Life is fun that way. Trying new things--regardless of their success potential--will keep life interesting and keep US interesting. There are other benefits to trying new things, two I wrote about previously:

JOLT Yourself to Good Health
Aerobics for the Brain

I hope you'll join me in trying new things this week. If you care to share, we'll cheer you on in the comments.

My new things for this week will mostly involve exploring new-to-me areas of Chicago and southwest Michigan. (Anyone in the Grand Rapids area? I'm there at the end of the week.) At the end of the week, I'll be visiting with some old friends and meeting some new ones at a writer-ish type event.

I'm also learning the ins and outs of Twitter. Yes, they got me. I had planned to have accounts for other things, but I was nagged encouraged to add @tippytoediet to the Twitter family. I'll learn badges and such later, but feel free to look me up and let me know you're there.

This was a scattery kind of post (like that's something new), but my brain is an itsybit fried at the moment. Please forgive.

*(Anyone in the Grand Rapids area? I'm there at the end of the week.)

ETA: 4:38 p.m. My brain is so fried, I forgot to hit publish. LOL

Makeover Monday: Got Confidence?

The long-awaited BlogHer'09 conference is this week! After months of planning and anticipating, scrimping and saving, I'll finally have the opportunity to meet some of my fellow bloggers and chat Live! In Person! I'm looking forward to two days of learning and laughing.

But as much as I love meeting new people, I still approach these situations with a little bit (or a lotta bit, depending on the event) of apprehension, wondering how I'll be perceived by others and hoping I "measure up." Years of frequently being "the biggest girl in the room" will do that to a person. (A few of you may know where I'm coming from with that.)

My confidence level is actually pretty good right now, but just to be on the safe side, I'm dragging out my bag o'tricks to make sure it stays there. If confidence is an issue for you, feel free to join me in slaying the savage beast!

7 Ways to Build and/or Maintain Your Self-Confidence


Inventory Your Assets - They're the things that make you uniquely YOU, the qualities and characteristics that draw other people to you. You have them in abundance. I wouldn't allow you to read my blog if you didn't. The way we see ourselves often affects the way other people see us, so list the things that make you special and worth knowing. Review your list daily, several times a day if it helps.

Use Instant Replay - Remember a time when you were successful at something. It might have been a work project or helping a friend resolve a problem or getting your kids through a difficult situation. Recalling those times will help cement the notion that you HAVE experienced success before, and there's no reason the trend can't continue.

Imagine the Worst - Give yourself a finite amount of time (5-10 minutes or so) to visualize the worst that could happen. Work through all the possibilities. Blow it way the hell out of proportion. Of all the things you come up with, I'll bet the only one you probably couldn't handle would be a worst case scenario that ended in death. I'm serious. If I think about BlogHer, the worst thing that could happen is that I drop dead of a heart attack when I walk in the door. Anything else seems rather minor in comparison.

Act the Part - There's absolutely nothing wrong with acting confident until the real deal catches up with you. I remember a story that was used in workshops of days gone by about a young girl being pushed down onto her school bus seat by her brother and his friend. Every time she started to get up, they pushed her down again. And again and again. Finally she was still, but with her fists clenched tightly, she scowled at the boys and shouted, "You can push me down all you want, but I'M STANDING UP INSIDE MYSELF." That's all acting the part is, standing up inside yourself.

Clean Up Your Language - Now is not the time for I can't or I'm not or I'll never. Or any of their cousins, for that matter. It's perfectly okay to acknowledge your limitations, but take care to phrase them properly. I'm building, I'm trying, I'm working toward--these are all honest, but positive and filled with possibilities. (This is my personal toughie.)


Visualize Your Success - I use this one a lot, as it's part of every goal-setting project I've ever undertaken. In this case, take a moment to close your eyes and see, with your mind's eye, the confident version of yourself. Do it enough times and it starts to merge with reality. The neat thing is that YOU don't even break a sweat!

Smile - So simple. So effective. When you feel your confidence slipping, smile, smile, smile. And then hold on tight for the surge of endorphins. Smiling makes you feel better about life in general.

Those are just a few of my tricks for maintaining (and sometimes resurrecting) my confidence level. Feel free (read: I'm begging you) to share any of YOUR techniques.

Wishing you all a marvelous Monday!

~

Makeover Monday: Are Your Affairs in Order?

I'm offering something of a downer topic this Monday, and I apologize for that, but I have my reasons--two, in fact: Beverly and Kathleen.

Beverly was one of my best friends for 15 years. Estranged from her own family, she adopted mine and often shared holidays and other special events with us. We all loved her and she loved us. Beverly died four years ago at the far-too-young age of 52. When she was diagnosed with colorecetal cancer, she assured me she had her "affairs in order", but she didn't. I don't know if she thought she had taken care of things, or she just really didn't want to deal with it, but it made her final days a living hell for those of us trying to ensure she received proper care and that her wishes were honored.

Kathleen was also a good friend, one I had known for 23 years. Kathleen died yesterday with her family at her side. (I had visited her just two hours earlier.) Like Beverly, Kathleen did not have her "affairs in order", which has kept her family's hands tied in trying to handle things over the past few weeks. It will all work out okay in the end, but it just didn't have to be this difficult.

None of us likes to think about it, but estate planning is something all of us should do, no matter our ages, our marital status, or the number of assets we do or don't have. We should do it simply to take the burden from our families and ensure that our desires and wishes are honored.

I won't even pretend to know all the intricacies of estate planning. I *do* know that there are two aspects we need to consider:
1) A plan for living
2) A plan for...well, not living

Pause for a moment of re-emphasis: None of what follows constitutes legal advice. Please consult an attorney for that, not someone whose legal knowledge comes from Perry Mason, Petrocelli, and endless reruns of Law & Order.

Our living plan should include the following (at minimum):

a) a durable power of attorney, which basically enables someone to handle financial matters on your behalf. In preparing this document (or having it prepared), you can choose to limit its effect to only those situations in which a doctor certifies that you are unable to handle your affairs, or you can set up an active power of attorney that allows someone to take care of issues for you in the event you are temporarily incapacitated or unavailable. Without a POA, your family or other survivors will have to petition the courts for the right to transact business for you.

b) a medical power of attorney or health-care proxy, which appoints a person to make health care decisions for you if you are unable to make them for yourself. This includes consenting to give, withhold, or cease any medical treatments or procedures, including those that are life-sustaining. If the person you wish to designate as your proxy is not a family member, you will also want to include a statement that this person is allowed to visit you in the hospital. (In the U.S., this is especially important for gay/lesbian couples and straight-but-unmarried couples, in the event the hospital has a family-only rule, or if the family chooses to be…difficult.)

c) a living will details the types of medical treatment you do and do not want and can be used in the event you are unable to speak for yourself.

One important note: in addition to completing the necessary paperwork and filings, be sure that you discuss each of these issues with your family members, especially those you are designating as your “agents”, so that everyone understands your wishes and their roles in your future.

You can find out more about power of attorney issues at nolo.


Okay, that takes care of the living plan. What about the alternative? Ick, but let’s cover it anyway.

A will is a road map for distributing your assets and property, establishing guardianship for your children, managing any property on behalf of your children, and ensuring all of the above are done properly. Without a written, signed, and notarized will, your family and/or loved ones will have to navigate the court system, which could cost countless hours and dollars, not to mention emotional hardship.

If you don’t have many assets or personal property and don’t need to establish guardianship for children, you may be able to use a simple no-frills will using a standard form such as the one available on nolo.

If, however, you have children, or if you have complicated distribution issues, you need to work with an attorney. (Personally, I’d consult with an attorney either way.)

Two notes:
1) Remember that, by law, pets are property too! Be sure to include them in your will.
2) As with the living plan, discuss your will with your family and loved ones so that everyone understands your wishes.

All of this is depressing to think about, but making plans now can save your loved ones a lot of stress and potential legal hassles at a time when they are least likely to be able to handle it well. If you haven’t gotten your “affairs” in order, I encourage you to do so NOW. I met with an attorney not long after Beverly died and for one fee, he set up both the living and the not-living plans. It was neither easy, nor pleasant to work through, but I feel much better having it all in place.

Again, I'm sorry for such an intense subject, but I truly did feel it was a very necessary topic for the day. (And I promise to choose something cheerier for next week!)

With that, I'm going to do everything in my power to spend the remainder of today celebrating life. I hope you will do the same.

~

Makeover Monday: Make Up Your Mind

A friend of mine despises exercise. She says it's boring. Sometimes I get bored with exercises, too, so I suggested she try changing her routine or venue, but she says that doesn't help, that it's her mind that's bored, not her body, and that all she thinks about while she's exercising is how bored she is and how much she despises exercising.

That had me scratching my Brazilian Bronze with Honey Caramel highlights head, as it's a completely opposite experience from mine. I can honestly say that in two years of exercising regularly, my mind has never lacked for things to do while I put my body through its movements o' the day. In fact, I will unashamedly confess that sometimes I exercise because of the glorious things my mind gets up to while I'm moving:

Organizing/planning Activities - Now that I'm mostly working out in the mornings, I like to spend a few minutes thinking about and visualizing the day ahead. I don't spend a whole lot of time on it, especially if it's a particularly busy day, because I have a tendency to start stressing about getting busy with that instead of being where my butt is. A few minutes to get the plan in place is okay, though.

Solving Problems - When I was working for The Man, I frequently found answers to lingering problems from the workday while I exercised. Exercise unlocks the right brain, which makes it a great time to find answers.

Creating - Speaking of right brain activity, I lovelovelove to let my creative brain run wild while I work out, especially with respect to my creative writing. I love to compose scenes or dialogue in my head while I'm walking. Good dialogue has a cadence to it, as does walking, so the two work really, really well together. If I have a sex romantic scene in mind, I head to the elliptical where I don't have to worry about getting flattened by a car and thrown into the same gutter my mind is inhabiting at the moment.

Pondering - Some days I dedicate to thinking about nothing in particular. I just let my thoughts skitter around wherever they wish to go. Sometimes I think about your posts and how I might implement some of your strategies, or I think about issues you've presented and whether or not I might have some answers.

Something I don't do but other people LOVE to do is to listen to podcasts while they exercise. Thus, we could easily add Learning to our list.

Then, of course, there's always watching movies or television shows. I love reruns of Monk, when I'm on the home treadmill. It's fun solving crimes while you pedal away on the recumbent bike!

I exercise because it makes me feel better, in body AND in mind. Giving my mind over to negative thoughts while I'm exercising isn't going to help either of those causes. To that end, these are the areas I try to avoid while exercising:

Overthinking - I do have a tendency to obsess. :)

Comparing - One of the biggest momentum killers for me is comparing myself to other people, and I'm glad to say I've mostly rid myself of that urge. If I feel the need to measure my activity, I look at what I did yesterday.

Regretting - I discussed this in a previous Makeover Monday. Regretting is just wasted time, in my opinion, and there are much better things my mind could be doing. Like writing a good sex scene. :)

Criticizing - This is something I'm really working hard on right now. Working out at the gym, with all its floor-to-ceiling mirrors, presents a challenge, as I notice every wrinkle, bulge, and flaw. Focusing on breathing, counting, and using proper form helps, along with the knowledge that I'm doing really groovy things for my body.

Like most people, I have a tendency to avoid things I don't enjoy doing. Sometimes finding the joy in it is simply an issue of mind over matter.

I'm going to share this post with my friend, in hopes that it will give her some ideas and maybe the motivation to try again. If anyone here has had the same experience with boredom and/or negative mind games and have any suggestions, I'll add them to the list.

And if this gives you any ideas to try, let us know how it works out for you!

This Makeover Monday post brought to you by Newman's Own Organic Spelt Pretzels, my current snack of choice. One word: yum!

~