By Request: Doing Nothing, Almost Explained

After my post yesterday, several of you asked about the concept of "doing nothing." (If you missed it, I first mentioned it in my quasi-book review of Martha Beck's The Joy Diet last week.) What follows is my interpretation of Martha Beck's suggestion to "Do nothing for 15 minutes every day."

I once read a quote attributed to Dr. Stephen Covey that went something like, "A ladder leaning against the wrong wall will only get us to the wrong place faster." We get so caught up in doing every day that we sometimes lose sight of what's truly important to us. The purpose of the daily exercise of doing nothing is to filter through our thoughts and feelings, to tap into the core of who we are what matters most to us.

The only hard-and-fast rule for doing nothing is that you have to remove yourself from the distractions of your life. It may mean that, for fifteen minutes, you have to leave your house, or lock your bedroom door, or sit in your car in the parking lot at work. Let anyone and everyone know that you are off limits and assure them that they will possibly survive it. Then walk away.

The next step is to find inner stillness. Martha Beck suggests either stilling our bodies, or if that feels too restrictive, then to engage in some sort of repetitive motion (walking, jogging, etc.) that requires no conscious thought. [Note: The motion thing doesn't always work so well for me, as I'm sure the startled driver I stepped in front of will agree. It does work well on the treadmill or the elliptical, though. And also while washing dishes, oddly enough.]

As we enter this zone of inner stillness, we should begin to observe the thoughts flitting through our minds, almost like watching them on television. Or, if you have a big life, perhaps a movie theater screen. Ms. Beck suggests visualizing these thoughts on a ticker tape or waterfall or some other moving instrument. {My thoughts ride past on bicycles. :)) Let them go by without judgment, assigning a name or short phrase to each as it passes through.

And that's the point of it all: we're letting these thoughts pass through. We acknowledge the emotion or feeling they create, but we don't let them take root or even find a resting place. Not for these fifteen minutes.

The final component of the exercise is to find our "happy place," a memory of a time when we felt at peace. (If you don't have one, make one up for yourself.) Recalling these times during our observations is relaxing and reminds us that even during times of stress or turmoil, the good things in the Universe are still with us.

It took me a few days to get into the flow of it and to understand the intent behind each of the actions and how they work as a whole together. At first, my thoughts went along these lines:
-I'm tired.
-No, you're lazy.
-Now, I'm being judgmental.
-I'm doing this wrong.
-Oh look! That woman should NOT be wearing that shirt with those pants.

After a few days, it became the intended stream of consciousness stuff:
-Not having a job scares me.{fear}
-The sun feels warm. {gratitude}
-I wonder why I'm so sleepy.{curiosity}
...and so on.

I became more aware of patterns, which is how I figured out I was feeling more anxiety than normal last week. When fear, worry, and nervous appeared multiple times in one day, I kind of took that as a clue. I'm quick that way. :)

I'm sure I've muddled this layman's explanation of doing nothing, and I may not interpret it as Martha Beck intended. You're probably better off reading the book and figuring out a way that works for you. That said, I'll be happy to return to the comments and mop up any muddy water. :)

Chime in with whatever you're thinking, or be on your happy, contemplative way! :)
Hope you're all having a wonderful week!

Practice, Practice, Practice

The other night, during the first of my two at-home Pilates workouts, I was feeling frustrated with some of the movements, so frustrated that I was thisclose to hitting eject and going for the Rodney Yee instead. Out of the blue, this quote from Les Brown popped into my mind:

You've always heard, "Practice makes perfect." Well, there is no such thing as perfection. Practice makes improvement.

I'm not sure where this notion that I should be able to pop in the DVD and just be able to do all the movements perfectly came from. There's not a single exercise I do that I do perfectly. That's one of the things that makes exercising fun! Yes, it's frustrating, and sometimes embarrassing, to struggle through what seem to be basic exercises. We see other people knocking out push-ups left and right, and an image of ourselves as we fumble through three pitiful ones (pardon author's biographical intrusion) comes to mind, and our spirits and self-esteem tumble.

The trick, I learned after a few months, is to know that where we are now is just the starting point. If we view it as that--a starting point--the pursuit of improvement becomes fun. Joyful, even. One day we're doing three push-ups (and doing them badly), two weeks later we've upped our number to five, a month after that we're doing ten pushups and then another ten after a brief rest. We're improving! The joy and pride in that can't be measured.

Just as with exercise, building and maintaining that positive viewpoint takes a little practice. Two things help me most:

1. Keeping a log of my progress - From time to time, I revisit my exercise calendar from 2007. The one entry always guaranteed to make me smile is the entry that marks the first time I walked a full hour. It has an exclamation point! :) Seeing the miles or reps add up, knowing that you're progressing even when you aren't where you want to be is incredibly motivating.
2. Having a sense of humor - Finding the 'funny' in any situation or event helps. The other night,  I attempted some sort of Pilates maneuver that required I hold my arms and legs in the air, rock onto my back, and then propel myself forward until I was balanced once again with arms and legs off the floor. I could do the initial balancing, and I could rock back just fine. The problem (and hilarity) came in when I tried to stop the forward movement and balance myself.  I would rock too far forward and in trying to regain the balanced position, I'd end up rocking back again. After the first three attempts, an image of me as an old-fashioned rocking horse came to mind, and I was overcome with giggles. Seriously, I had to freeze the DVD until I could compose myself. Once I restarted, I began to see progress (of sorts) on the sixth repition. (On my second workout, I was able to (sort of) do this move by the third rep.)

Focusing on improvement rather than perfection builds confidence and self-esteem. It creates a sense of purpose and building toward something, as opposed to reaching for some future ideal that may or may not exist.

Mantra: There is no such thing as perfection.

Your turn. Do you get caught up in the chase for perfection? Or are you able to take the "bird's eye view" and see the bigger picture? Any tips for the rest of us?

Cruisin' into the Weekend

First, a big--and I mean BIG--thanks to those who offered up their favorite fitness sites. I'll get them compiled into a list over the weekend. Thanks to those of you who suggested my site. I truly appreciate it, but I don't really consider myself a 'fitness site', per se.

So how's everyone doing? On plan and full speed ahead? Stumbling, fumbling, but still making progress? Completely off track, but s-l-o-w-l-y moving back to center? Crashed and burned?

Wherever you are on the fitness scale, my biggest wish for you as we head into this weekend is that you know you have it within you to be successful. You deserve it. You are worth it. The victory is yours to claim.

“The first and most important step toward success is the feeling that we can succeed.” Nelson Boswell

As for me, I'm on target with nutrition, but not so much on the exercise. I've finally gotten my bathroom remodeling projects underway (pics later), and for this week, the tile guys and the plumber won the time battle. I managed a few walks and a Pilates home session (loved it!), but the week was not up to my exercise standards. Will reset and continue, starting this weekend when I plan to come up with some sort of "exercise obstacle course" to work in while I complete the massive dusting and vacuuming that must occur thanks to the tile guys and plumber. I'll let you know how that turns out and whether or not it was any fun. :) I guarantee you I will have a successful weekend! (she says confidently, but with her fingers crossed to be on the safe side.)

So what are YOU doing this weekend? Whatever it is, I hope you enjoy it immensely!

For Whom the Scale Tolls

A friend asked me yesterday why I still blog about weight loss, given that I've reached my goal range. She seemed surprised that I'd bother. Obviously, she doesn't comrephend the dynamics of the fitness/weight loss blogging community.

As I mentioned the other day, online support and interaction has been (and still is) instrumental in keeping me on target. I can share my triumphs and my...well, let's be polite and call them less-than-triumphant moments, knowing that someone will understand. Some will have lived it, while others may not have had that exact experience, but they'll still "get it". And even if they don't, they'll still offer a suggestion or helpful hint, or maybe just a few kind words.

The other side of the equation is what happens when I visit other blogs. Any struggles I'm experiencing (real or imagined) evaporate when Betty Blogger reports yet another plateau week, or Bobby Blogger (no relation) posts that he's bored during his workout and requests suggestions for good MP3s for working out. Instead of heading for the pantry for more almonds, I read back through Betty's blog, looking for any clues as to why she might be plateau-ing and then brainstorm possible solutions while I'm on the treadmill. I forward Bobby a list of my workout faves and then spend a few minutes scoping out more tunes for my auditory arsenal. Later, when Betty breaks her plateau or Bobby's workout enthusiasm level picks up, I feel victorious (and relieved) right along with them. They succeeded, which meant I succeeded. One for all and all for one, etc. and amen.

What got me on this weird (even for me) little tangent was the sad experience of cleaning out my RSS feeds last night. So many people whose lives intersected with ours, and one day--poof! They just disappear from the blogosphere. No explanation, no farewell; they're just gone. It leaves me wondering if their lives became too hectic to blog (most of us know what THAT feels like), or if they fell off the fitness wagon? Egads, maybe they were run over by the wagon! We just don't know, and that leaves me sad and wondering.


I'm reminded of this quote from poet John Donne, which better describes my sentiments (and in fewer words):

Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee...

No doubt, he is getting quite the workout from turning in his grave over my abuse of his sentiment, but it fits my whacko thought train.


So, this is my round-about way of asking you to please stick around. We will celebrate during the good times and commiserate/pontificate through the not-so-good. If you don't want to blog about your troubles, reach out another way (email, twitter DM, whatever it takes), or take a break if you need it. But please don't let giving up and walking away be on your list of options!

As for me, I intend to be the oldest living fitness/weight loss blogger someday. I'll be posting tips on how to use your walking stick with the treadmill or how to work in a few planks while on your bedpan. Okay, maybe not. :)

But I'll still be here, and I hope you'll be here, too!

Before I go, reminder to join in the fun and sign up for my version of the Progresso Soup Contest and Giveaway. Deadline is tonight (midnight US Central)!

Just Say Yes!

The nice folks at skirt sent me a 2010 calendar. (I have no idea why, but it was very kind of them. Thank you, skirt! people!) I was idly flipping through it this morning, pretending for just a minute that I don't have a to-do list a mile long, and this lovely bit of prose jumped out at me.

Let each finish line be a fresh start.
Let there always be one more race to be run...
one more rung to reach...
the next novel waiting to be written...
a career change to be dared...
a higher mountain to climb...
Unexpected Love waiting to walk into your life...
dance steps to be learned...
the most daring adventure still to plan...
another painting waiting on the palette.

Let every safe harbor be a place to rest up, not rest on your laurels,
before you set off again for unknown jeopardy and joy.
Broken heart? Turn it into a happy beginning.
Layoffs looming? Start working your resume.
Empty nest? Try your own wings.
Sign up for Yes! instead of hanging on to yesterday.
Yes! to the blind date, the scary new job in another city, the next level of yoga.

Ready, Set, Yes!

You see why I'm so happy with the skirt! people.

I've had so many changes in my life over the past few years, but most of them were positive, largely because I learned to say Yes! to life, every single day. To give myself permission to be successful, to change, to grow. I plan to do it again next year, too, and I hope you'll join me. Paraphrasing from the calendar this time: We might flop or we might fly, but we might as well try.

Skirt! also sent me a pen, on which I just noticed this quote: Set your alarm for good times.

Oh yes, 2010 is going to be one awesome year!

For now, I'm going to say Yes! to a 30-minute nap! The to-do list will still be there when I wake up. :)

Makeover Monday: The Longest Stride

I'm in a strange-but-neat place these days. Having lost my excess weight and my job in such a relatively short time span has left me wide open for chasing new adventures. I'm feeling bold and confident and excited...and scared "spit-less", as we say in polite company. I'm learning new things every day, about myself and the world around me. Now, poised for flight, I'm faced with a simple and inescapable truth: Beginnings are hard. So hard that it sometimes seems preferable to stick right where you are. Taking the first step toward any goal or dream is exciting, but it can also cause feelings of fear, uncertainty, and/or dread, among others. Or maybe it's just me.

"The first step you take is the longest stride."
Nickelback, If Today Was Your Last Day

So how do we get ourselves to the point of taking that first step, not with a sense of doom or dread, but with a sense of excitement and anticipation?

1. Identify clearly the goal/dream you are pursuing. Although he gets on my last nerve much of the time, Dr. Phil got it right when he advised, "You have to name it to claim it." (Life Strategies, 1999) Know exactly what it is you want, this object of your desire. Visualize it. Write it down. Be as specific as possible.

2. Breathe it. Quality management guru Peter F. Drucker said, "Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans." If we don't fully commit ourselves to a thing, we'll do it when it's convenient or easy or the third Tuesday of every other month.

3. Define small steps. C'mon, you knew I was going to work this in here somewhere, especially when it fits so beautifully! Many of us know that we're more likely to get to the top of the mountain via a series of small stepping stones, as opposed to trying to climb over a boulder.

4. Expect difficulties. Be prepared for roadblocks and obstacles, many of which you will create for yourself. Knowing how to harness your strengths and overcome your weaknesses will help see you through the rough spots.

5. Take the first step. You're ready for it!

It doesn't matter whether your goal is to become more fit, write a book, start a business, remodel your house (these all sound very familiar to me), or {insert your goal here}, taking some time to define the goal, commit to it, identify stepping stones to achieve it, and anticipate the roadblocks before you take the first step, will help you get off to a strong start!

As always, your thoughts, comments, and ideas are welcome!

I'm Shining, Are YOU Shining?

It will come as no surprise to anyone that I don't know many Bible verses. I'm not opposed to the Bible; I just haven't committed much of it to memory.

I do know a few verses, though, and one in particular came to mind recently:

A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.

Matthew 5:14

I remember this one because I first read it around the time a co-worker began discussing her newfound religious fervor. "D" willingness to share her joyous conversion with us knew no bounds. In fact, the only time she wasn't talking about it (and trying to convert the heathen among us) was when she was dishing gossip about someone else or sneaking off to shop on company time. When I saw first saw the verse above, I remember thinking, D, if you'd just hush and let your self-described light shine from within, you'd make your conversion much more attractive and desirable.

In losing 100 pounds, I'm afraid I may have gone the "D" way. Erasing old habits and replacing them with better ones has been exciting, especially since many of the changes were made with a little tweak here and tiny shift there. I was eager to share my joy with everyone I knew!

Maybe a tad too eager. Someone recently told me she didn't want to go to lunch with me because she didn't want me to see what she ate for lunch. (Ouch!) I assured her that I couldn't care less what she ate, but that I did care that she enjoyed it. And then to bridge the awkward gap, I told her I wouldn't go to lunch with her if she was the last person on Earth. She laughed, I laughed, and we're meeting for lunch next week.

I can't recall criticizing anybody's food choices or lack of exercise, and if I did I'm truly sorry. I'm the last person on the planet with any right to be judgmental about these topics. I never meant to come across like a religious extremist or an Amway salesman.

But maybe that's not the case. I honestly don't think I've been proselytizing too much. I dunno, maybe I'm conveniently forgetting a few dozen conversations. Something I've definitely noticed is that people volunteer what they've been eating or how they've been exercising. I never even bring it up. I ran into a co-worker last week and the first thing she said to me after hello was, "I'm still climbing the stairs!" (See this link for relevance.)

See? She brought it up! (And I'm glad she did and thrilled she's still climbing! She was reluctant to try it.)

So I'm used to friends and such offering their successes. I was bumfuzzled for a few seconds yesterday, though, when the young clerk at Office Max blurted out, with great enthusiasm, "I biked this morning!"

At first I wasn't sure he was talking to me, but there was no one else around. "Oh yeah? Where did you ride?" Brilliant conversationalist, me.

He went on to tell me the route in his neighborhood and how he chose to go up some "bad ass hills." I noticed as he talked, his eyes drifted to my chest a couple of times. Losing 100 pounds has resulted in that area not getting much attention these days, so I glanced down to make sure nothing was showing that shouldn't be.

Turns out I was wearing my "What Have You Done Today?" t-shirt, which has a bunch of forms of exercise printed on it. Biking was one of the choices. Duh. Still, he was proud and I was proud for his accomplishment. We talked about biking a few minutes more and I left.

Later yesterday, after I had walked to the gym (twice, which is a story for another day), I walked over to Subway for my post-workout snack. As I was leaving, a man said, "Great workout today!" I recognized him vaguely as having been at the gym while I was there. (I had one of those "being where my butt is" days and was totally focused on my workout.) He went on to compliment my push-ups and my attitude during my workout. I was deliciously embarrassed but thrilled, as you can imagine. We talked about workouts for a few minutes, and I walked home.

So, you see, even people I never met bring up this healthier living thing without my asking. It can't just be me over-talking it. Not all the time, anyway.

It makes me think that there might be something to this city on a hill thing. Maybe if you do the things you need to be doing and you do them with the right attitude, the satisfaction and the pleasure will shine from within you and serve as their own form of attraction.

Oooh, that reminds me of that old Sunday School song (since I got away with the Bible verse already): This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

Okay, so maybe the writer intended something else, but it works here as well. Our efforts and our attitudes will make people want what we have, and maybe--just maybe--that will inspire them to find their own light!

Now all we need are some pamphlets to put under people's windshields at the supermarket and we'll be set! :)

Thus endeth today's sermon. I can't find the collection plate, but we will resume passing it next week.

Go in peace. And good health.

~

Makeover Monday: Don't Believe Everything You Think

One of the greatest compliments I receive isn't related to my new weight or size at all. It has more to do with my attitude, which is largely positive and hopeful these days. Not that it's always been that way, nor is it always that way now. But I've come a long way in learning how to manage my thoughts in a positive way.

The first problem with thoughts is that it's so easy to have them. In fact, it's damn near impossible NOT to have them. Have you ever tried that? NOT thinking? I can't do it, even with meditation. Or even medication. But I digress.

The second problem with thoughts is that we frequently accept them as gospel and then let them become our reality. That old self-fulfilling prophecy at work, which is too bad because many times our thoughts are simply automatic reactions in the face of fear or challenge or change--any situation to which we're conditioned to shy away from. In and of themselves, these thoughts aren't much of a problem, other than a waste of time, but if we accept them as truth and let them direct our future, then our thoughts are controlling us and prescribing our destiny. And that's not what we want, is it?

In in his book Healing ADD: The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD, author Daniel G. Amen, MD describes some of the reasons we can't always believe what we think. He calls these thoughts ANTS, Automatic Negative Thoughts, and likens them to ants on a picnic. One isn't a problem, two is merely an irritant, but many more than that and your picnic is ruined.

I'm listing Dr. Amen's ANTS below, with his words in bold (red text reflects the dreaded red ants, the worst ants of all!) My weight-centric comments are in regular old ordinary font, as befits my non-MD, non-author status. As a disclaimer, I will go ahead and confess to you now that I am currently or have been in the past guilty of ALL of these behaviors.

9 Ways Our Thoughts Lie to Us
1. "All or nothing" - We tend to see ourselves as 100% successful or total failures. It's all good or all bad. I've done it, and I've seen some of you do it, too. A person has a good week with exercise and nutrition, but because they ate a donut on Saturday, the week was a complete flop. Not even close to the truth.

2. "Always" thinking - I always mess up. I always give in. Ever had those thoughts? I go so far as to include "Never" thinking in here as well. I never stick with it. We need to challenge those thoughts, because they simply aren't true. Even if the successes were short-lived, they still happened. I'm not the only one who can now testify that history doesn't have to repeat itself, especially if it's revisionist history to begin with.

3. Focusing on the negative - Some of us have a tendency to see only the bad and forget (even if temporarily) the good. In giving up some of my favorite foods to become healthier, I sometimes had to fight off the "It's not fair (bad) that I have to do this" thinking. I did it by arguing back to myself, "No, it's not fair, but I'll benefit more by doing it this way." I trumped a bad with a good.

4. Fortune-telling - Trying to predict the worst possible outcome to a situation used to be one of my worst habits. I've seen other folks doing this as well. We have a social gathering to attend, and we automatically "know" we're going to go way off our eating plans. We make it a fact before it ever occurs. A good way around it is to visualize yourself being successful. As Dr. Amen wrote, "If you're going to try to predict the future, why not predict the best?"

5. Mind Reading - In addition to fortune telling, we're also capable of mind reading. Or think we are. We never really know what other people are thinking, so it's futile to base our behaviors on what WE think others are thinking about us.

6. Thinking with your feelings - Feelings can lie to us, too. We should look for evidence to support a feeling before letting it take hold in our thoughts and become our reality.

7. Guilt beatings - Should. Must. Have to. Words guaranteed to make us want to run the other direction, which often leads to feelings of failure. One way to combat guilt is to change our language. For example, I must exercise today becomes I want to exercise today. I have to eat tuna again today might be more tolerable as Eating tuna again will give me the protein boost I need. Silly? Possibly. Effective? Definitely.

8. Labeling - If you're reading (or writing) this blog, chances are slim you haven't labeled yourself negatively in some way. Fat. Lazy. Stupid. Those are just a few that come to mind. As a success strategy, it's not really very effective.

9. Blaming - Dr. Amen refers to blaming as "the most poisonous red ant of all" and I agree. I've blamed family members for nutritional sabotage, even though I was the one holding the fork. I've blamed finances for a lack of exercise, even though walking around the block was F-R-E-E. Blaming other people takes our power to change anything.


I still have my moments (hours/days) when I struggle to fight off one or more ANTS. I'll continue to have these times in the future. You know, with me being human and all. But by recognizing ANTS for what they are and fighting past them, I'm able to remove unreasonable obstacles in my path. You can, too, and here are a few pieces of ammunition:
- teach yourself to recognize your ANT demons
- write them down
- talk back to them
- argue them into a corner
- squash them like the bugs they are


As I wrote earlier, I am or have been guilty of all of these at one time or another. What are the ANTS you have to deal with? How do you do it? What, if anything, will you change in the future?

How Corporate America Helped Me Lose Weight

I'm going to lunch today with some of my former co-workers. I've met with a couple of them a few times since I left the company, but I'll be seeing some of them for the first time since April 30th. While I certainly don't miss the corporate life, I do miss many of the people I worked with for so long. I'm looking forward to it.

I learned a lot about business from my company. As so often happens with lessons learned, they were useful in many other areas of life as well. I wrote about a few of them on my very first blog, four years ago (!), and I thought now might be a good time to re-visit them, from a health/fitness approach. (I'll do anything to get out of housework.)

You don't get better at something by not doing it.
Richard, one of my favorite managers ever, said that to me when I tried to get out of giving a speech. He was right. The only way to get better at public presentations is to do them, and do them A LOT.

So often when we try to change our approach to healthier eating and exercise (and for me, emphasis on the exercise), we become discouraged at the limitations of our size or the absence of a meaningful skill set. It's difficult to go to a gym full of people who are running and lifting and squatting and lunging, and we're able to manage (barely!) 20 minutes on the treadmill at low speed.

When I first started building my exercise habit two years and 100 pounds ago, I walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes at 1.8 miles per hour. I stayed at the speed until I had worked up to 45 minutes ( a couple of weeks, if I remember correctly) Then I started working on pace. I have a notation in my exercise journal of the date I made it to 2.0 mph. It has an exclamation point, indicating my joy in the accomplishment. It seems silly now, but I remember feeling so proud. I was exercising regularly and I was getting better at it.

Today, I don't walk on the treadmill so much, opting instead for outdoor walking or biking. When weather forces me indoors, I head for the elliptical or the stair climber. Going by time and distance calculations, I now walk at a pace of 4.0-4.5 mph.

We get better at something by doing it.

The only people not making mistakes are those not doing anything.
I learned this bit of wisdom from Jim, the manager of the systems development staff responsible for putting back together a system I blew sky-high. The documentation said, in effect, "Run Step A, then Step B, then Step C." Easy enough, right? Why, then, did I run step A and then Step C? Oh yeah, I thought I'd found a shortcut. Wrong.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't happened during Game 4 of the NBA playoffs--one of those Lakers-Celtics years, no less. The lead computer operator stood outside my door during the entire debacle and glared at me. I cried.

But then Jim stopped by, gave me the pep talk, and in the ensuing repair work, the programmer was able to make some improvements that made future recoveries as easy as the click of a button.

It's the same with converting to a healthier way of living. We of the overweight persuasion tend to compare ourselves to others and then to judge ourselves harshly when we fall short. We screw up...and give up. (Or maybe that was just me?) We frequently don't see that the very people we think are living the optimal lifestyle are out there making their own mistakes. Our commonality is not success, but the mistakes we all make in working toward our goals.

None of us is perfect, and by acknowledging our screw-ups as simple human frailties and reminding ourselves that the only way to avoid messing up is to not try at all, we'll move much closer much faster to our goals.

The trick is to keep trying.

Don't let best get in the way of better.
Our society rewards excellence and there's nothing at all wrong with that. Excellence should be recognized and rewarded. But sometimes it seems we're so focused on Being The Best that we miss the opportunities for small victories and accomplishments along the way. Or worse, we refuse to accept these stair-step improvements as evidence of our progress simply because they're not The Best.

My former company's CEO is fond of saying this: "It's better to reach 80% of a stretch objective than to achieve 100% of an objective that wasn't particularly challenging."

I agree. Eliminating bad habits and creating a healthier version of ourselves requires tremendous effort that sometimes seems overwhelming. We need to take pride in the accomplishments we do achieve, even when we aren't 100% successful every single minute of every single day.


And that's what I learned about losing weight and gaining fitness from Corporate America.

As always, your thoughts and stories are welcome. I learn from you as well. Which is another whole blog post of its own. :)

What Fresh Hell Is This?

Today's title is actually a quote attributed to Dorothy Parker. It also describes perfectly my return to the gym.

Before I left for Chicago, my knees were bothering me during squats and lunges, so I thought that would be a good opportunity to give them a break. Apparently the break went on a little too long. On Monday, I added them back into my routine, and while my knees are just fine, my quads and glutes are not happy with me. Not at all. It reminds me of when I first started training. I'm not big on post-workout pain, so I spent extra time stretching after today's gym session. So far, so good.

Monday was also my first weigh-in, post-vacation, post-birthday celebration. The good news is that I'm right where I was when I left for Chicago. The bad news is that I was up a couple of pounds when I left for Chicago. So I need to shed two pounds, or possibly a little more. I'd like to be at or even slightly below my goal weight when I leave for my Western Tour in early October. I'm setting October 1st (or so) as the goal date for goal weight. Surely I can lose 2 or 3 pounds by then.

Reporting in on a new snack I tried: Yoplait Yogurt Parfait. (The link will take you to a site with a $1 off coupon.) The parfaits are combinations of different flavored yogurts. I've only tried the Creme Caramel, but they also have Lemon Torte, Chocolate Raspberry, and Triple Berry Creme. With 13 grams of sugar, this product definitely falls in the realm of dessert yogurt, but it also has 5g of protein and the other goodies yogurt provides. Functional dessert, in other words. One more word: yummy!

Busy times here this week, but I'll do my best to catch up on my reader tonight and tomorrow!
I hope I discover that you are all having a most marvelous week!

They Say It's My Birthday

The actual Big Day is Monday, but since it's conveniently located adjacent to the weekend, I'm claiming the whole three days. I'll be on "the other side" of 50 on Monday, which requires additional time for acceptance.

No big plans for celebrations, just the usual family dinner and some time with friends. In other words, perfect! Birthdays are a great time for reflection, and I'm sure I'll be doing even more of that than I usually do. I like to think about where I've been, contemplate where I'm going, re-assess my values and dreams, and plan my next steps.

This year's birthday ponderings are a little different from years past. In addition to NOT needing to lose 100 pounds, I don't have a job to plan around. Life is wide open, and it's up to me to decide where to take it. So many options, so many possibilities...it gives rise to this, my shiny new personal mantra for the next few months:

I may not know where I'm going, but I'm not lost.

As I try new things, succeeding and failing, I have an internal compass that's stronger than it's ever been.

It will guide me to my right path, whether that be the one I was on or to somewhere completely new.

I can't wait!!

What makes up YOUR internal compass? What keeps you from getting lost?

Or, if you're feeling a little lost, maybe this weekend is a good time to ponder what drives you and motivates you to do the right things...for yourself and the rest of us.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy weekend!

Get Your Mo-Mo Going

Mo-mo, in tippytoe speak, refers to momentum and motivation. I'm a strong believer in both as key factors in weight loss success.

It's easy to understand how motivation helps us. We list the reasons we want to lose weight, usually post them somewhere, and then refer to them for inspiration. Or that's how it works for me.

Momentum has always been tougher for me to explain. But yesterday, I ran across the following passage in my book o'the week:

"The moment you fall in love with the sound of progress is the moment you stop hearing everything else."

Richard Murphy Confessions of a Contractor

Happy sigh....That sums it up perfectly for me! The energy from momentum often drowns out the internal chatter along with the external temptations, and provides the fuel I need to keep moving forward.

Wishing you time this weekend to get your mo-mo going, to remember your motivation(s) and then to be still and listen for the sounds of progress...

On The Road Again - North

Technically, I'm not yet on the road, but I soon will be. I had a gazillion and two things I wanted to post about today, but there's just no time. The cooler summer weather here in Memphis and all points northward have thrown a kink into my planned traveling wardrobe, so I've been scrambling to patch together a different plan. Crazy weather.

I'll blog from the road, but I wanted to share one of the new stories from StoryPeople. (Y'all remember them from the lovely giveaway they provided.) This one is called Saving Up:

saving up a bag full of peak moments she's going to have someday if she can ever get away from all the same old stuff that's holding her back & you can pretty well guess how it's going

I love this reminder that life is not meant to be "saved up." It's meant to be lived, every single day. No waiting for a someday that might never get here. We have to go out and get it.

Or get as close as we possibly can to it. Life isn't perfect, and we can't always have what we want rightthisveryminute, but we can damn well sure try.

With today's sermon completed (apologies for that, but I have my reasons), I'm shutting this computer down (and remembering to turn the power strip OFF) and heading off on my newest adventure.

But first a mani/pedi. :)

Helpful Links and Stuff

(Edited to add title. Sheesh.)

Wowza! You all have been very good to yourselves, haven't you? Lovelovelove the PB2 responses! If you haven't entered the giveaway yet, you still have time. Deadline is midnight (US Central) tonight.

A few newsy items today:

JD at Get Rich Slowly (and Get Fit Slowly as well) posted this great article: Eating Organic on a Frugal Budget

Then you can learn How to Freeze Fruit from TipNut.com (warning: website automatically plays a video with sound in the sidebar, so if you're sneak surfing at work, you might want to mute your sound first.)

Essential Keystrokes shares a link to a possibly neat-o product in this post: Turn Your Treadmill into a Workstation. (I'm considering one!)

Finally, I found this quote over on Stacks and Stacks Clutter Control Freak:

I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacation with better care than they do their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change.~Jim Rohn

Kind of stung a little when it zinged me right between the eyes.

And that's it from me today. All is well in my little corner of the universe, and I wish the same for you!

~

Makeover Monday: Releasing Regrets

I'm usually a fairly happy passenger on my journey through life, but some days I wish I had a nickel for every time I've thought "if only".

If only I'd lost this weight earlier in life...

If only I had gone back to finish a degree...

If only I had saved more money...

I'm not sure exactly what it is I think comes after the dots, but it must be spectacular given the number of times I've let a wistful sentence trail off that way.

The thing is...I'm living a pretty blessed life, right here, right now. I'm healthier than I've ever been ("the sinus" not withstanding), and if I had lost weight earlier in life, I'd never have you people, would I? Lack of a degree isn't a character flaw, nor is it fatal, and as far as money goes, I have enough. It's a Very Good Life.

In her prologue to There's a Hole in My Sidewalk, Portia Nelson wrote:

My life has been a series of wonderful experiences. It's a pity I wasn't there for most of them.

I want to be here for this Very Good Life, and in order to do that, I need to focus on staying in it as it's unfolding. It's fine to use past experiences as learning tools or as reminders of times when life was better or smoother or healthier. Trying to live in those times, or to re-live them, as if the outcomes could be changed or recreated just from remembering, isn't productive.

Obviously, I don't have the answers for overcoming regrets, but I found a very good article that will get me (and anyone who wants/needs to join me) in getting started: Letting Go of Regrets by Arlene Harder. It's a quick read and has some positive action steps for those times when the "if only" thread thrums loudly.

I once heard Anne Lamott share some very good advice a friend gave her:

Just be where your butt is.

I've borrowed that phrase many times when I've been overwhelmed with too-much-to-do-itis or worry-mania, and I think it works well for dealing with regrets, too.

So for today, my butt is right HERE, wherever HERE happens to be at any given moment. I hope I'll do the same tomorrow, but I won't spend any time today considering that. Nor will I waste time regretting anything my butt might or might not have done yesterday.

Do regrets get in your way sometimes? Have any life-changing advice to share with us on how you keep the Regret Monster away?

Wishing you a regret-free week...wherever your butt is.


~

Short Words, Small Changes, Same Impact

While cleaning out one of my short story folders yesterday, I found this short essay from Richard Lederer's The Miracle of Language:

When you speak and write, there is no law that says you have to use big words. Short words are as good as long ones, and short, old words--like sun and grass and home--are best of all. A lot of small words, more than you might think, can meet your needs with a strength, grace, and charm that large words do not have...

Short words are bright like sparks that glow in the night, prompt like the dawn that greets the day, sharp like the blade of a knife, hot like salt tears that scald the cheek, quick like moths that flit from flame to flame, and terse like the dart and sting of a bee.

(You probably noticed that his entire essay is all one-syllable words.)

I've always loved this passage for it's focus on simplicity and on using the best words possible. Amateur writers (that would be moi) sometimes tend to "go big" and write in an overly-complicated way that does nothing to further the story. Not in a good way, anyway, and I have boxes of bad short stories that prove it. :)

What the heck does this have to do with fitness, you ask? Well, think about it.

If you're like me (and I pray that you're NOT), your past contains multiple episodes of complicated weight loss and exercise plans...

First, there was the 'Lose Weight without Trying' approach:
Magical Fat-melting Medicine (available in 4 easy payments of $19.95)
Billy Bob's Fantastic Fitness Machine (available in 4 easy payments of $39.95)
Fannybuster's Fat-melting Miracle Bodysuit (available in 3 easy payments of $49.95)

Frustrated, ten pounds heavier with each effort, and now broke, you moved onto the magazine plans:
The Miracle Grapes-and-Turnips Diet
The Walk Backwards and Lose Weight Faster Exercise Program
The 40-Day Plan to lose 80 Pounds While You Sleep

Two years older and thirty additional pounds wiser, you decide to tackle the DIY approach: Three-a-day workouts, 800 calories, four gallons of water. No chocolate. Ever.

When that doesn't work, you try again: Four-a-day workouts, 600 calories, six gallons of water, and no one is allowed to even say chocolate in your presence.

Hmmm, that doesn't work and you decide it's the quality of your calories, so you cut out any foods that contain any of the letters in the word chocolate.

On and on it goes. Or maybe that was just me.

And maybe I'm being a bit silly with it. :)

My point is that I think we sometimes get so caught up in making plans on how we can lose weight (or maintain the loss) that we over-complicate things. We build training programs that most athletes would find difficult to maintain, programs that often lead to injury or overstressed limbs and ligaments. We design eating plans that are nutrient-dense and reality poor, at least for the way we live. Instead of laying foundations and building on them, layer by layer, we build dreams that are destined to die.

It only took me 15-20 years to figure out that small changes, like small words, can make a big difference and completely change the tone of our stories.

What small change will you make today?

Will you toss, roast, broil, steam, or stew?

Will you dip, lunge, press, squat, lift, crunch, walk, run, jog, push, pull, play, laugh, rest, sip, and/or chew?

Will you TRY?

Will you DO?

Will you have some choc-- shoot, I still can't figure out how to make that one fit in, but I'm working on it? :)

Wishing you the simple joy of success today!

~

12 Quotes To Help Us Focus

I always feel great when I'm able to talk myself "up" on a stressful or blues-y day, but sometimes the well is dry. Or maybe it's a just a little low. Or maybe the pump handle is just rusted. Or...well, you get the picture. It's on those days that I turn to my quote file to make use of other people's words. Here are a dozen or so quotes that always seem to help me refocus:

Ever notice how your mind calms during or after exercise, or you find the perfect solution to a problem?
"Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

When the scale or the tape measure have you feeling blue...
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going." - Beverly Sills

Have you ever thought you'd screw everything up, and then you went out and did it?
"If you don't have confidence, you'll always find a way not to win." - Carl Lewis

When you feel like taking a day (or a week or a month) off your plan...
"Continuous effort -- not strength or intelligence -- is the key to unlocking our potential." - Liane Cardes

I get this now...
"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination." - Tommy Lasorda

For when you find yourself trying to 'splain your actions...
"Bad excuses are worse than none." - Thomas Fuller

Day after day after day...
"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." - Jim Ryun

Most of us want to BE fit; how many of us want to GET fit?
"What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it, that's another matter." - Peter F. Drucker

I'd have been in the gym YEARS ago if only I'd listened to the Babe
"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way. " - George Herman "Babe" Ruth

For the chronic over-thinker (and I know it's not just me)...
"You cannot plow a field by turning it over in your mind. " Unknown

and my two all-time favorites:

To remind us it's all about growth
"Success is never final and failure never fatal." - George F. Tilton

I use this one almost every day.
"Fall seven times, stand up eight." - Japanese proverb

I hope any or all of these will inspire you as they've inspired me!

Million Dollar Maybe

Today is Powerball Lottery Day, which I think of as Million Dollar Maybe Day. I have a ticket and the jackpot is $125MM. That would net out to a $30 million payout, no small amount of money. Winning it would certainly change my future plans.

Or would it?

Several years ago on my old and defunct blog, I pondered the idea of winning a mere $10 million jackpot. What follows is the substance of that post:

I've read stories about lottery winners who were penniless a few years down the road. How does that happen? How can you have $20 million dollars one year and be broke the next? Poor planning, to say the least. That's why I have it all laid out. Here's what I'll do if I win:

1. Give $2.5 million to charity right off the top. No, I'm not just saying that to get in the good graces of the Higher Powers. It just seems like the right thing to do. I even have the charities all picked out already.
2. Quit my job. Isn't that what everyone says? I'd still work, but I might look for something part time. It's not that I hate my current job; I'd just like to try different things. Plus, wouldn't it be great to apply for a job and not have to even ask about the salary? Or care whether or not it offers health insurance?
3. Pay off my mortgage. Ahhhh.
4. Finish the remodeling projects lined up for my house. All at once, not staggered out over a period of time.
5. Do some nice things for friends and family. Pay off my sister's mortgage. Buy my parents new cars.
6. Create a college fund for the children of all my friends and family.
7. Hire a personal trainer.
8. Try to build a 'professional' writing career.
9. Hire a housekeeper.
10. And a landscaper.
11. Go on extended road trips.

So I'm down to about $2.5 million now, and I have everything I want. I can conservatively invest the remainder and live a nice, comfortable little life. Sounds nice, doesn't it?

I have to wonder, though, what's next? What would I be moving toward? How would I define accomplishment and achievement? Who would my friends be while my real friends were at work? And would I lose the ability to tell the difference between real friends and pretenders?

Another thing I wonder is why I'm not doing most of the things on my list today. Okay, I don't exactly have $2.5 million on me right now, so I'd have to cut way back on the charitable donation. But I'll bet if I looked things over, I could find more to contribute than I do now.

And, no, I can't quit my job, because I need those benefits, but I'll bet I could keep an eye open for new and different things to do at work.

I can work harder to pay off my mortgage, and if I try, I'll bet I can organize those remodeling projects so that they're completed before the next millennium. I can't do the same things for my friends and family that I could do if I had $10 million, but I can do some nice things for them.

Everything else on the list? I could do it today, if I wanted. So why am I making a list and hinging the possibility of having 'everything I want' on a million dollar maybe? I've got the sure thing right in front of me.

That was in 2005. Fast forward to today, and I have to laugh at the difference a few years makes:
- I didn't quit my job; it's quitting me. And I'm okay with that.(#2)
- Yes, these are the same remodeling projects that are still open for today. Most of them anyway. I did get a few things done.(#4)
- I hired a trainer, lost 100 pounds, and changed my life.( #7)
- With the approach of #2, I'm definitely going to be writing more. (#8)
- I have at least THREE road trips planned for this year. I'm currently planning for one of them to be 4-6 weeks.

This entirely-too-long post could have been summed up in a single quote from Dr Cherie Carter-Scott, author of If Life is a Game, These Are the Rules:

“There” is no better than “here.” Very often people will get stuck in the here/there syndrome: “When I lose 10 pounds…when I find my soul mate... when I win the lottery…when I retire... when I something”. It’s the when I, then I syndrome.

I seem to need to be reminded of this rule every few years (which is direct confirmation of one of her other rules: "Lessons are repeated until they are learned.")

Sometimes it's not possible to get 100% of my dreams, but I as I said in my original post, why hinge everything on a million dollar maybe when I have some sure things right in front of me?

All of this pondering has me wondering about YOUR dreams and what YOU can do to find the "sure things" that may be sitting right in front of you? (Y'all know how nosy I am!) I'll bet you can find something, if you try.

You Matter, I Matter

He did it again.

Last week, I had the enormous pleasure of corresponding with Sam Parker, creator of 212 The Extra Degree, which those of you who've been here awhile may remember as the focus of one of our early Makeover Mondays. Sam (I hope it's okay if I call him that) has updated the video and you can find the new link here. Still powerful. Life-altering powerful.

If that wasn't enough, Sam also kindly let me know about his newest project, Smile and Move, a guide to mattering to the world, making a difference, and smiling while you do it. While it's geared to sales professionals, if you read it with a mind toward your everyday self, you'll find some gems. The book, which you can purchase (holiday gift idea!) or read for free online, is based on this simple concept:

It's one of our deepest, most human drives. I want to be needed. You want to be needed. We all want to matter to the world.

Don't we just?

Should you find yourself smiling less and complaining more, check out Sam's new book!

Note: I receive no compensation from Sam--he's nice, but apparently not that nice. I just like the concept.

For the record, YOU--your successes, your struggles, your enormous, beautiful hearts--matter to ME. I will always be grateful for your presence here, for your seemingly unending support and inspiration, and for your generosity in sharing your stories.

Leaving you with these words from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., which I read for the first time on Sam's site:

After one has discovered what he is called for, he should set out to do it with all of the power he has in his system. Do it as if God almighty ordained you at this particular moment in history to do it.

Powerful stuff. Life changing even.

Makeover Monday: Higher Learning

"I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma."
~Eartha Kitt

::happy sigh:: I love that quote.

With the approach of winter (not to mention the approach of a potential job loss), I've been thinking about taking a few classes. Two things have been holding me up: 1) I'm not exactly overloaded with extra time, and 2) I'm not exactly overloaded with extra money.

Those are stumpers, all right.

Not to worry. A little googling here, a little exploring there, and I think I'm onto a potential solution. A bunch of potential solutions, actually, and the good news is that they'll work for YOU, too, should you be inclined to wile away your wintertime in pursuit of higher learning.

First up, and this is a quickie with a health focus, this article from Yahoo!Health gives us some tips on supercharging our brains. (Mine could definitely use it!)

Next, and this is BIG: did you know that there are many colleges universities around the world that offer free online college courses? That's right, I said that magical word: F-R-E-E! Plus, all of the courses I explored were self-paced, meaning I can attend when it's convenient for ME!

Formats vary, but include everything from podcasts (available on iTunes and elsewhere), vidcasts, and web-accessible course transcripts. From introductory to graduate level classes, there's a little something for everyone. I'm not sure how one learns bowling and swimming online, but they're available (BYU)!

If you're interested, here are some places to start looking:

Open Learn (I may take the introductory Spanish course so that I can move beyond, "!Hola!)

Brigham Young University

John Hopkins (intriguing roster of courses on nutrition)

Kutztown University of Pennsylvania Small Business Development Center

MIT (P.E.720 (weight training) and PE.910 (Physical Intelligence) made my bookmark list.

Stanford University on iTunes

University of California Berkley

University of California Irvine

Some international colleges and universities with course offerings:

Paris Tech(Then you could legitimately start a sentence with "When I was attending school in Paris...")

University of Southern Queensland

You can also find a nice categorized listing of courses at OpenCulture. Most of these are podcasts.

So you've had enough college, you say? Well, there are also free online classes and tutorials on a wide variety of subjects at the following links:

about.com

Business Week

Small Business Administration

cnet.com(for tips and tutorials of a technological slant)

hp

learnthat.com

podclass.com

Suddenly the darkness of winter doesn't seem so bleak. :-)

As always, I hope you found any of this useful, and if you know of any additional online learning resources (keeping in mind the F-R-E-E part), please share.

I'm also curious as to what classes you WISH you could find online (and F-R-E-E). Maybe one or the other of us can help you out!

Step Up!!

During some work-oriented link-hopping, I found this creative little acronym, and I like it for the fit-life change especially. Not surprising since it's basically what I've been doing for the past 18 months. Only I wasn't bright enough to create the acronym. :)

STEP UP FOR CHANGE

1. Sense what you need to change for the better.
2. Think creatively of ways to make your life work.
3. Energize yourself to charge up your life.
4. Plan your strategies for action.
5. Use resources and tools to aid you.
6. Perform regular review to improve.

My comments:
#2 & 4 are my favorite parts of the process. I love inventing new challenges for myself or "work-arounds" for situations that usually present problems. For example, I took three vacations last year and lost weight on two of them. I think I would've lost on the third one if I had eaten more calories. (I didn't factor in how much walking I was doing at the BlogHer Conference and most of that walking with my computer bag strapped to my back.)

#3 is HUGE. There's a great quote attributed to Sarah Bernheardt: "Energy creates energy." Every success is a spark and a bunch of those sparks creates a fire, and when you reach that stage, there is NO turning back. All of your attention is forward-focused and you know the results will follow. Sure, there are down times, but when there's that much energy in your body, the negativity just won't stick. (Believe me, I tried!)

#5 for me was Sparkpeople, Fitness Together, this blog, and your blogs. (See sidebar for links.)

#6 made me laugh. IMO, "performing regular reviews" does NOT mean weighing oneself every half hour. ;-)

How is this similar or dissimilar to your plan? Are there elements you would add to it or omit completely? I'm always curious...

~

Nip It!

I am currently under snack attack, for some reason. Nothing devastating to the flabby waistline (an extra banana here, a sugar-free pudding there), but I don't like this deviation from my routine. I feel a little less in control, if you know what I mean. As I type this I've decided my best counter measure may be the retrieval from the desk drawer of my "hunger scale", which is an index card with ratings for the level of hunger I'm feeling (or think I'm feeling.) I suspect some of the snacking may actually be Level 1 "I'm really just bored" snacking, and that Will.Not.Do. In the words of the immortal Barney Fife, I need to "Nip it! Nip it in the bud."

Oh, terrific. Now I'm going to go around all day singing "Nip it!" in my head.

Wait, that might actually work.

::sigh::

The things I do to be fitter.

Before I return you to the normal world, I'd like to thank you commenter friends for giving me an awesome idea for my (pending, I'm sure) Goal Celebration! When I reach goal, I will post a photo of my very own feet! LOL Do NOT ask me why I think this is a good idea, but it struck my fancy and it seems like fun. And if we're not going to have fun here, then let's just all pack it in. (For the squeamish among you, I will try to figure out how to post the image behind a cut. I have awfully big feet so the image will be large by necessity. *G*)

Hmm, so other than the sincere thank you, I have nothing truly worthwhile to contribute to the community today. Time to sign off. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

And remember: Nip it!

Menu Then, Menu Now

Delusional Gym Manager asked me the other night to tell her a typical day's menu for me these days. I told her what I'd had the day before, and it wasn't until I was on the way home that I thought to compare it with what I might have had a year ago or two years ago.

Typical Daily Menu Then
Breakfast: biscuit w/butter and grape jelly or a biscuit with milk gravy
Snack: something from the cafeteria (muffin, maybe) or peanut butter and crackers
Lunch: cheeseburger and fries, or slice of pepperoni pizza and a salad
Snack: oversized cookie or a candy bar
Dinner: maybe a Taco Bell run (2 tacos and an order of nachos) or fish and chips
Snack: chocolate something, or microwave popcorn (whole bag), or both
(probably around 3000 calories or more)

Typical Daily Menu Now (actual from Monday, a strength training day)
breakfast: banana, Fiber One bar (peanut butter and oats)
snack: Fiber One yogurt
lunch: chef salad, tbsp of hummus & salsa (yum!) on a pita wedge
snack: apple, New Balance protein bar
dinner: turkey & pepper jack cheese on whole wheat w/lettuce, tomato, & yellow mustard; 3/4 oz pretzels
snack: watermelon (1/4 cup) and mini-rice cakes (or was it sugar free pudding? I forget.*G*)
(Note: I wouldn't normally have two "bar" products in one day, but the cafeteria didn't have fat-free milk so I skipped cereal.)
(around 1300 calories, if I remember correctly)

As you can see, not a perfect diet, even today, but it's so much better than it was. I eat much more good protein, much better carbs, and a fraction of the fat I used to. I'm very pleased with my progress and looking forward to continuing changes for the better.

I think I've mentioned before something an ex-manager used to say frequently: "Don't let best get in the way of better." There are a lot of "right" things about striving for perfection, but we are all human. We will fail, and we will often do it spectacularly. If we're lucky, we'll learn from it, but sometimes the only thing we can do is get past it. We will know we have truly grown if, after one of those oops! moments we sometimes have, we refocus on this fundamental truth: We don't have to be the best. We just have to be better.

(All my own widdle opinion, of course.)

Wishing all of you a better tomorrow! :)

~

A Pearl for Andrew

The amazing Andrew asked: "What is the one pearl of wisdom you would share?"

One? Okay, I can do one. :)

I don't profess to have all the answers, or even to have any of the answers for some folks. But the one thing I've learned after, lo, these many years, is that you can't overhaul your life overnight. Successfully changing a lifetime of bad habits takes practice and time to execute, both physically and emotionally, along with the banishment of expectations of perfection.

I look at it this way: If someone gave me a list of home improvement projects that instructed me to clean all the windows (inside and out), sweep all the floors, remove all my switchplates and doorknobs, clean the patio and garage, catch up the laundry, repave the driveway, mow the lawn, and paint the mailbox, and then told me to start all of them on the following Monday morning and do them all perfectly, I'd run for the hills. Once I'd been revived and could pick myself up off the floor, that is.

But what I might do is choose to clean the patio and garage this weekend, tackle the switchplates and doorknobs next weekend, the windows the week after that (and maybe I'd call on a friend to be my window-washing buddy), and perhaps I'd paint the mailbox--the first coat, anyway--while I waited for the rinse cycle on the washing machine, and so on and so on.

It actually sounds possible that way, doesn't it? I might get it all done, and done well, if I break it up into manageable pieces.

Why in the hell, then, would I ever expect myself to begin a rigorous exercise program six days a week, eat only healthy foods in daily allotments that are a fraction of what I sometimes ate by noon before, drop all caffeine from my diet and replace it with water, give up chocolate and all other snack foods forever, learn everything there is to know about nutrition and how it affects my body, and deal with the emotional issues of all of the above? And do it all perfectly, with nary a tear or complaint.

Starting next Monday.

You can't overhaul your life overnight. Steady, consistent, positive changes, time to execute them, and room to screw up. It will work.

It only took me 30 years to figure all this out.


So enough of my rambling. Let's make a necklace of these pearls!

If you could share one pearl of wisdom with folks, what would it be?

Thanks to Andrew for the question!

Where Kindness Matters Most

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. ~Lao Tzu

I came across this quote today and I copied it down, thinking I'd use it to remind myself to be kinder to others. While I'm generally a pretty nice person, I could certainly use a little reminder every now and then that the world is not really all about me.

So on about my day I went. Work, lunch, work, manicure, cardio--another exciting day in Cammy-land, as you can see.

Oh, but I forgot to mention the ritual! It's a new thing I've started recently, whenever I'm changing clothes, and it goes something like this: I pause to look in the mirror and obsess about my droopy breasts, my flabby belly, and my sagging thighs. I count the wrinkles, the ones that weren't there this time last year because my cheeks were so fat, and twist my neck from side to side to see the folds of excess skin ripple as I do so. And then I sum it up with one of two words: Yuk! or Gross!

On rare occasions, in the right lighting, I use both.

It was no different tonight, until a tiny inner voice piped up with, "Now exactly how is that 'kind'?"

I didn't have an answer, not a good one anyway, because it's not kind. It's downright cruel. There's no way I would ever say that to a friend, so why in hell would I ever say it to myself?

My body is not beautiful just now, at least not in the conventional sense of the word, and I'm not going to try to convince myself otherwise. For the record, I wouldn't do that to a friend either. But if asked, I'd damn sure be kind with my answer. I'd point out that this interim body is a work in progress, maybe add a reminder that the caterpillar-to-butterfly transition gets kind of icky in the middle part, but it all works out beautifully in the end. If we're talking close friend, I might even joke about the number of crunches in her future, and the newer, healthier me would offer to do them with her. Maybe I'd find more words of wisdom, but I know none of them would be "gross" or "yuk".

This is what I thought about when I was on the treadmill tonight, and I vowed to be kinder to myself, to give myself the gifts that build confidence, profoundness, and love. When I finished my cardio (and caught my breath), I dug out this poem I copied down years ago, and it's now taped to my bathroom mirror. It's the kindest thing I knew to do for myself.

SOME ME OF BEAUTY
By Carolyn Rodgers
(as read on Oprah many years ago)

I took a good long look at myself in a full length mirror
Sometimes it's good to look in a full length mirror
And what I saw was not some soul sister poetess of the moment
But I saw just a woman
Just a woman feeling
Just a woman human
And what I felt was
What I felt was a spiritual revelation
And what I felt was a root revival of some love coming on
Coming on strong
And I knew then, looking in a full length mirror,
That many things were over
And some me of beauty was about to begin

Don't mind me, I'll just be here.

Waiting.

Patiently.

Other People's Words 12-30-07

One of my favorite quotations is a Japanese proverb: Fall down seven times, get up eight.

Here are some others I like:

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. ~Author Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook. ~Andy Rooney

Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. ~Beth McCollister

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad. ~Janette Barber

To ask women to become unnaturally thin is to ask them to relinquish their sexuality. ~ Naomi Wolf

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. ~Mark Twain

A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools. ~Spanish proverb